


You are mine

by Readitandfacepalm



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Bullying, Derogatory Language, Even Bech Næsheim is Extra, Homophobic Language, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Not Sana's brother Elias (obviously), Protective Even Bech Næsheim, Self-Defence Class, Smut, descriptions of violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-25
Updated: 2017-08-29
Packaged: 2018-11-04 19:07:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 28,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10997112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Readitandfacepalm/pseuds/Readitandfacepalm
Summary: *updated summary because it was a crap summary and the story kind of got away from me.Isak is attending Nissen and has been targeted by bully Elias. Enter possesive Even.Also, there are self defense classes (hot AND educational. If that's not a twofer I don't know what is).Find me on Tumblr: readitandfacepalm.tumblr.com





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, first ever fic. English is not my first language so sorry for any (all of the) spelling mistakes. Also, please point them out to me. I probably won’t correct them on account of me being lazy, but I will hopefully learn, which is something I guess.  
> Also I will probably use commas a lot.  
> Please tell me how to fix this horrible mess of words, or leave suggestions and stuff if you want to see certain things in following chapters, or if you just want to beg me to stop.  
> Not proofread, sorry.
> 
> Edit: I have tried to edit the chapter a bit and make it easier to read. I haven't changed any of the text even if I really just want to change every single sentence. Just spaces and stuff is different. Don't know if it helped at all.

Isak was leaving the classroom where he’d had one of his most productive math lessons ever.

He was feeling sort of good about himself, having solved every single problem correctly without checking his books first.  
This was why he wasn’t really aware that he’d been found until he was slammed hard against the wall in the hallway, his head hitting the concrete walls with a low thud. The pain slowly spread from the back of his head through the sides, settling somewhere between his eyes.

Holy crap, it hurt.

His heart rate sped up, chest pounding. He instinctively knew what was happening, and his mind raced to figure a way out. Where was Jonas and the others? Fuck, they had gym. Crap.

Fortunately the hallway was rapidly filling up with students milling around, talking amongst each other while finding their books in their lockers. If they noticed what was happening none of them gave any indication.

Still, there were people around. Elias wouldn’t dare to get too physical here. So it would just be a matter of closing one’s ears.

Hopefully.

Isak felt Elias’ hot breath against his ear and he cringed, trying to move his head away and failing. It was disgusting how paralyzed he always became.

Elias was holding Isak’s hoodie fisted in his huge hands, pinning Isak to the wall. When he started whispering, Isak could feel the spit hitting his ear.

“Stop fucking smiling fag. You need to fucking disappear, God, I hate seeing your stupid fag face everywhere. Any day now, I’m going to smash your ugly face in you fucker.”

Isak just stood there, taking in the menace in the other boys’ voice, attempting to wait him out. Trying not to get too angry, because then he would probably start crying angry tears and make everything worse.

He could feel the adrenaline rushing through his body, making him feel shaky and tingly and so fucking weak. He tried to breathe calmly to steady his heart rate so his fear wouldn’t show too much.

  
A couple of seconds of silence passed, and Isak thanked the heavens that Elias wasn’t particularly bright, because the boy had clearly exhausted his vocabulary and was now struggling to find new offensive things to say.

Isak just about managed not to roll his eyes which was good or else he might have ended up with a broken nose, witnesses or no.

So he just kept standing there, eyes cast downward, until Elias let him go with an extra shove, satisfied with asserting his dominance over Isak.

When he left with his friends laughing and patting his back Isak could have sworn to himself that his life had become a shitty high school movie or something. Elias even had a fucking leather jacket on.

It would almost be funny if it wasn’t for the anxiety attacks and shit. Luckily, he wasn’t having one right now, and Isak almost snorted with laughter. It truly was about the little things in life.

Like not having an anxiety attack after a bit of bullying.

  
Walking to his locker, he tried, for the millionth time, to figure out why Elias hated him so much. They had been going to the same schools since Isak started first grade, but never in the same class as Elias was one year older than Isak.

They had never been friends, never hung out.

  
Isak was pretty sure Elias hadn’t even known Isak existed until last year, when all of a sudden Elias had been shouting “fucking homo” after him while Isak was standing in the middle of the schoolyard with Jonas, Magnus and Mahdi.

Isak hadn’t even realized Elias’ words had been directed at himself before Mahdi had attacked Elias and sent him flying to the ground with a punch to the gut that must have seriously rearranged Elias’ intestines, making him double over.

Isak had been confused but also scared out of his mind. Not because of the fight, and not even because of the harshness of the words.

 _How the hell did he know. How could he possibly know_?

  
That familiar ball of fear in his stomach had felt like it was growing until the point where it made him hitch his breath and he had just stood there. Not saying anything while Jonas, Magnus and Mahdi was shouting profanities at Elias while Elias, clearly having misjudged Isaks friends’ protectiveness of him had retreated into the main building of the school.

None of the boys had asked Isak why Elias had shouted at him, why he’d called Isak a homo. And before they really got a chance to go over what had happened, the bell rang and they all headed to class.

None of them ever mentioned it again.

And Elias never bothered Isak again while his friends were around.

But it seemed like Elias doubled his efforts when they weren’t. And Isak couldn’t tell any of them about it, because that would lead into dangerous territory about why Elias thought Isak was gay and that just couldn’t happen.

He couldn’t risk losing pretty much the only friends he had. So Elias’ hatred for Isak remained a mystery, one Isak almost hoped would never be revealed. He just had to get through this year and the next and then he was graduating. Just lay low and not draw attention to himself.

Yeah. He could do that.  
.

 

After unlocking the door to the apartment he shared with Eskild, Linn and now also Noora, he chipped off his sneakers and ambled into the living room.

Linn was lying on the couch with a blanket wrapped around her. She was watching some old episode of the Kardashians. He could tell it was an old episode because one of the sisters was slightly bigger than the others in this one. In the later episodes he was having difficulty telling the sisters apart, exept that really short one with kids hanging off of her all the time.

He needed to find other people to watch TV with.

Maybe play some fifa at Jonas’ place. Today he just couldn’t watch the Kardashians. Maybe he’d suggest a Rocky marathon this weekend. It had been almost a year since the last one. No, wait, they’d had one three months ago. Whatever. It was time.

Linn, being her usual talkative self, just followed him with her eyes as he crossed in front of the TV to get to his room.

“Hey Linn,” he said, giving her a small nod.

She didn’t answer, just turned her eyes slowly back to the TV.

So, she was having a bad day then. Isak wished he knew how to help her, but he really had enough problems of his own so he just let her be.

After he’d rummaged through his shelf in the pantry and found half a box of ritz crackers and some strawberry jam he settled into a comfortable position on his bed.

He knew he would regret eating crackers in bed but he would deal with it later. Right now he just needed to clear his head. He hadn’t really been able to focus in either Norwegian or biology, too stressed out about what Elias had said.

_Will he really do it? Like, hurt me bad?_

Isak had been assaulted before by Elias, more times than he cared to remember. He’d gotten tripped and bruised and once he was pretty sure he’d sprained his thumb. It hurt for over a week after Elias had trapped him in the bathroom, slamming the door of one of the bathroom stalls on Isaks thumb.

But Elias had always been careful not to leave marks that would be difficult for Isak to explain. Isak never did anything about it, never told anyone. So naturally Elias knew he was safe to hurt Isak just enough for people not to notice.

People would even rarely see it happening, Elias preferring to catch Isak in the few moments when he was alone and not surrounded by his few friends or by fellow students.

Isak decided he would just have to be extra careful, extra alert. And try not to be so damn afraid.

He felt utterly exhausted by the amount of work this would take, and he turned on Netflix to bingewatch Narcos until he smelled Nooras cooking from the kitchen and decided to go and beg her for scraps.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enter Even.

Isak was sitting in the cafeteria with Magnus, Jonas and Mahdi.

Mahdi had a carefully guarded stack of waffles in front of him, while the rest of the boys were eating some very sad looking cheese sandwiches.

“Anyone up for a pregame at my place tomorrow night? My parents are taking my sister to the cabin for the weekend so my house is empty”, Jonas said.

Mahdi and Magnus instantly perked up at that, agreeing in unison while still stuffing their faces with food.

Isak nodded, but he really didn’t feel like it. If they had a pregame they would most likely end up at some party or other, and Isak worried that Elias might be there. If the boys were drunk they could either not notice if Isak was being harassed, or, even worse, they could actually notice and all hell would break loose.

But there really wasn’t any way of getting out of this. They would get very suspicious if Isak didn’t come because he always did, so he’d just show up and go to the party with them. He could sneak home after an hour or so, when the boys were too drunk to care.

“So, we need beer or something, Isak. Could you ask Eskild to buy for all of us? Either beer or booze. No wine.” Mahdi said.

“Sure. I’ll talk to him, I’m sure he’ll provide,” Isak said with what he hoped resembled some enthusiasm.

A few tables over, Elias was sitting down with his friends. He didn’t seem to notice Isak, but Isak hated the fear crawling through him at the sight of the bully.

Maybe he should just tell the boys. Maybe even come out.

But if it didn’t work, if they didn’t get it or they thought he was disgusting or something he’d be all alone.

Oh sure, they’d protect him from Elias he was pretty sure of that.

But he’d rather have Elias beat him up every single day if it meant his friends wouldn’t look at him as some sort of alien life form.

He’d seen how they looked at Eskild sometimes. They never said anything, but Isak could tell they thought he was strange.

Which was true, of course. Eskild was very strange. He had a pink party-wig, a slightly indecent kimono that he pranced about in whenever he felt like it (which was often), and advice to last a lifetime. Probably two.

Still, Isak longed to be able to be as utterly self-confident, so free to be whoever the fuck he felt like being.

But hey, at least he’d managed to steal one of Mahdi’s waffles which was always something.

.

He managed to get through the entire schoolday on Friday without any sort of incident involving Elias. Which was maybe some sort of record.

He was texting Eskild about the beer as he was walking to the tram, not really noticing where he was going. Too late he realized his mistake as a foot appeared in front of his own legs, effectively tripping him.

He knew instantly that he wouldn’t be able to stay on his feet. Isak was holding on to his phone for dear life as he fell, knowing that if it broke he wouldn’t be able to afford a new one. And then, mid-fall, the fucker shoved him, making his whole body twist before he landed on his side.

When his left cheekbone hit the pavement Isak felt the burn and knew it’d leave a mark.

He heard someone shout from inside the tram that was stopping right in front of them. The shouting clearly spooked Elias because he, thankfully, ran away.

Isak got up quickly and threw himself inside the tram. He felt so ashamed that all of these people had seen what happened.

They saw how he did nothing about it, just took it.

He could feel his left cheek burning and raised his hand to touch. The sting made him realize he would have to come up with some sort of explanation to his friends, when a deep voice next to him asked, “Man, are you okay? That looks painful.”

And Isak looked up into a pair of eyes the color of..fuck he didn’t even know what color. Maybe grey, maybe blue. Probably something in between.

But they were big, and they had these long eyelashes around them and Isak stopped breathing.

The guy was just.

Wow.

He was tall. And so handsome. High cheekbones. Looking sort of flushed, probably because it was so hot inside the tram. Jesus christ his lips. Big and soft and slightly chapped.

Isak felt his eyes almost drift shut at the overload of beauty but he managed to keep them open.

The guy was looking at Isak with questioning eyes, like he was expecting Isak to answer him. Because yeah, right, he’d asked Isak if he was okay.

Which Isak actually wasn’t but he would be and this god among men didn’t have to know how weak and stupid Isak really was so Isak just answered with a simple “Yeah, I’m fine,thanks. No worries.”

Isak cast his eyes downward, keeping a very close eye on his shoes so the stranger wouldn’t notice Isak’s reaction to him.

He would probably freak out if he knew what Isak’s first (And second. And third) thoughts had been when he’d looked into those gorgeous eyes. Isak felt the guys eyes on him for the full three minutes it took to get to his stop though.

They were standing close enough that their arms touched and Isak could feel it all the way down to his toes.

His face felt like it was burning up by the time he got off, hurrying towards the shared apartment he’d been lucky enough to find a few months ago.

Well, he hadn't found the apartment, he'd found Eskild. Still one of the best things to ever happen. Even if they were a bedroom short at the moment.

Entering the apartment, Isak noticed Eskild  sitting in his kimono at the kitchen table painting his toenails some sort of bright blue.

Definitely not the color of that guys eyes. Not that Isak was comparing every single shade of blue he saw now to the color of some strange guys eyes.

He really wasn’t. Not grey either.

“Hey, Eskild, did you get my texts?” 

“Hello my tiny little hip-hoping emotional mess, I most certainly got them. All of them. It’s on the table over there. You owe me 630 kroner.”

“Yeah. I’ll go transfer it now. Thanks guru.”

“Isak?”

“Yes?” Isak had just turned to leave when Eskild stopped him.

 “Isak, your cheek is bleeding, you have a huge scratch. Like what the hell happened?”

“Nothing. Just tripped on my way home,” Isak answered, not looking at Eskild. He'd completely forgotten about the scratch.

It still stung.

“Ookaayy,” Eskild answered, dragging the word out to make it clear that he did not even for a second belive Isaks story. But he stayed silent after that, and Isak fled to his room.

.

 

When Isak arrived at Jonas’ place at eight the guys were already there, and Magnus started yelling as soon as he saw Isak.

 

“What the fuck happened to your face man? Did you fall off your bike or something?”

Isak immediately clung to this gift of an explanation from Magnus,

“Yeah. I did, actually. Can you please all just laugh now and get it out of your systems so I won’t have to hear about it all night?”

He even threw in a smile at the end so they wouldn’t notice the lie in his eyes.

“You are the world’s most clumsy person, I swear,” Mahdi said, already rummaging through the bags of beer that Isak had brought.  "Remember that time you sprained your finger? Who does that?"

“You look like your face skidded on the pavement like it should’ve been giffed,"  Magnus  added.

“I know. But I brought beer so shut up.”  Isak popped one open and took a swig. The only one who didn’t say anything was Jonas.

.

The pregame was pretty much a disaster.

Mags got way too drunk way too soon and started puking even before they’d found a party to go to.

So after putting him on the couch with a bucket next to him, the rest of them ventured out to find someplace to go. None of them wanted to stay at Jonas' with the smell of vomit everywhere.

Mahdi had heard about some sort of thing at Jonas’ ex-girlfriend’s place and Jonas was trying to call her to see if they could come.

They were carrying the rest of their beers in shopping bags, already slightly drunk as they walked down the road of the residential naighborhood.

Isak couldn't help but wonder how many times they'd done this before. Too many to count. Sometimes, like now, they just wore t-shirts, other times they had on three sets of layers, beanies and scarves. Still freezing their asses off.

“Hey Eva!” Jonas said loudly into the phone.

“Can we come to your place? It’s just me and Mahdi and Isak.”

He paused, clearly waiting for Eva to finish speaking. “No, we left Mags at home, he started puking before we even got out the door. But yeah great, thanks Eva. We’ll be there in fifteen.” He hung up and there were high fives all around.

If Isak’s was a little half-hearted no one seemed to notice.

. 

When they got to the house they almost weren’t let in because of some douche guarding the door, but Eva soon came and ushered them inside. Three middle fingers was simultaneously held up in the douche’s direction as they brushed past him and into the stifling room.

They headed to the kitchen first, but soon decided to leave their beers in Eva’s room so no one would steel it. Beer was a precious commodity on a friday night in a house full of underage kids trying to get as drunk as possible.

The house was packed with people and every single one of them seemed drunk or well on their way to it.

Isak was trying hard to get some sort of overview over the party and all the people there, trying to see if he could spot Elias.

He'd formed some sort of a plan in his head that basically was trying to spot the asshole and then just keeping as far away as possible. He soon realized the futility of even finding out if Elias was there, and settled on the couch in the living room with Jonas and Mahdi next to him.

Mahdi was already telling some crazy story about when his mom had her hair done for easter and it had apparently caught fire or something. People were laughing and saying cheers every goddamn other minute and Isak was starting to feel like he would suffocate if he stayed a minute longer.

But he couldn’t leave either, it was too soon. The others would have questions and Isak just didn’t know how to come up with an answer. It was exhausting, lying to people all the time.

So he just sat there. Frustrated and not joining any of the conversations around him. Just looking around like that would help pass the time. He didn’t even dare to get drunk in case Elias would show.

. 

And then there he was.

Not Elias.

That guy.

With the eyes.

Standing just a couple of feet away from Isak. He was wearing a hoodie, a denim jacket, and black jeans. He still looked like a god.

His hair was slicked up in some James Dean kind of style that would have looked ridiculous on anyone else but worked perfectly on this guy. Or god or whatever he was.

A hot god.

But possibly not a gay god.

Because his arm was thrown around some girls’ shoulder. Which didn’t necessarily mean anything.

Maybe they were friends or something.

Isak’s was starting to feel uneasy. They didn’t look like friends. The girl, beautiful with short blonde hair was leaning into blue-eyes.

Ok, so Isak now had a name for the guy. Blue-eyes. Better than grey-eyes probably, but still.

Not good.

Oh, and now they were kissing.

They were kissing like they’d kissed thousands of times before. Like it didn’t even matter. Isak really thought the girl should at least act a little grateful for getting to kiss a god. He would gladly have given away an arm and a leg to be kissing the guy, and she looked like she didn’t even really enjoy it.

After a few pecks they parted and blue-eyes started scanning the room, presumably to see if he knew anyone in the living room.

When his eyes landed on Isak they lit up with recognition and their eyes locked for a couple of seconds that somehow felt like closer to thirty minutes.

Isak sent him a weak smile before he tore his eyes away so no one would notice he was staring and crap. That's when he saw.

Elias had arrived.

The asshole was standing by the door leading into the kitchen, his eyes also on Isak. He had a weird glint in his eyes that made Isak shift uncomfortably. He instinctively knew that he would have to find someone to walk home with tonight. Maybe if he picked up a girl and left with her it might help with some of the rumors he was sure was circling about his sexual preferences.

He started to look around for a girl to pick up when blue-eyes suddenly lunged at Elias.

What the fuck?

What was happening?

Isak froze like he always did when someone got violent and just watched this crazy scene unfold. Blue-eyes was holding on to Elias’ shirt, trying to get a punch in while at least three people was trying to hold him back.

Elias was looking very confused, shouting “What the fuck man! Why the fuck are you attacking me?” 

Blue-eyes started at that, jerking away from Elias. He looked toward Isak and all of a sudden the world went quiet. Isak went cold all over.

And he knew.

Blue-eyes had seen Elias attacking Isak at the tram stop earlier. That was what this was about.

Isak shook his head silently, eyes imploring, trying to convey to the stranger how much he didn’t want what had happened to be revealed and thank God he guy seemed to get it. He turned his head with a blank look in his eyes, shrugged, and left the room, presumably the house judging by his speed.

His girlfriend left a minute later after saying goodbye to a couple of friends, also clearly confused. 

Elias also left about ten minutes later, after he had complained to absolutely everyone (exept Isak) about how he’d been attacked for no reason.

Some girl next to Isak who apparently knew Elias informed him rather animatedly that she knew who the guy was.

His name was Even. And he was some sort of psychopath or something.

Rumor had it he’d been thrown out of Elvebakken because of said pshychopathichness.

And he was starting at Hartvig Nissen on Monday. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak has a weird but not altogether unpleasant Monday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trying a tiny little bit of smut, just because my dirty mind wouldn't stop being dirty. Never written smut (or anything else) before so I'm sorry if it sucks. Thanks for all comments. Hope I'm not boring you too much. Please let me know if you have any suggestions or things you would like to see.
> 
> Edit: just making space between sentences and stuff. Because I realized that I suck at the space stuff. Not changing words unless misspelled no matter how much it pains me.

 

.

 

_Isak was on his stomach in a star fish position, limbs sleep heavy and tingly._

_He was breathing slowly into his pillow as a pair of warm hands were slowly gliding up the outside of his thighs, rubbing and stroking all the way along his back, down towards his ass cheeks. It almost felt like he was about to get a massage, only the stroking didn't become kneading._

_And then the hands came to rest on his ass, fingers separating, almost covering his ass completely. Squeezing firmly. Long thumbs hooked into the softness on the underside of the two round muscles, hitching the skin upwards and outwards and exposing his asshole in the most delicious way._

_He felt warm breath on his ass, so close. Isak couldn’t help rubbing himself into the mattress. It felt good. Extremely good. He felt warm and safe and so very horny._

_A tongue was gliding way too slowly up the inside of his thigh, making tiny circles up, up, up, almost but not quite where he wanted it most. Lips pressing open-mouthed kisses, with just a little tongue on his lower spine and at the top of his ass, right where it met his back. His entire midsection clenched and unclenched, needing release._

_He was gasping into his pillow, rubbing and rubbing, and oh my god this felt so good. He could feel himself growing closer every second, all he needed was just a little more friction._

_He could feel the covers slipping off his body with the force of his movements but didn't care that his skin got colder, he was too close now. He arched his back, exposing his ass even more as he somehow buried his groin deeper while the pressure built and built until he was coming in glorious waves and spilling right into the mattress._

 He only really came awake as he felt the warm, wet, and slightly gross stain on his stomach.

For a moment he just lay there, completely still, trying to get a handle on reality. Holy fuck, that was the hottest wet dream he’d ever had, and it’d only been about him getting what was practically a cuddle.

A really hot and sexy cuddle.

Well, maybe not a cuddle.

But the idea of stroking and kissing had never gotten him off before, not even in sleep.

He was still feeling the tingly remnants of his orgasm and tried not to think about who the hands belonged to.

The tongue.

And the mouth.

Because he didn’t have to think about it at all to know who those hands had belonged to. He knew instinctively.

Even.

He'd just had a sex dream about Even.

Great.

 In a little over two hours they would be fellow students. He almost slapped himself when he realized he was smiling softly into his pillow.

That was nothing to smile about.

It was not a good thing.

This going to the same school thing would be very bad for Isak’s concentration. And he would need his concentration in order to dodge Elias. He didn't need to be looking for some blonde demi-god James Dean lookalike every time he turned a corner.

Especially since he got off just thinking about the guy’s hands on his body.

Well, hands and mouth.

Soft, warm mouth, licking and kissing it’s way around.

And okay, he needed to stop now. He groaned and rolled out of bed, not bothering to clean up his mess. He’d change the sheets when he got home. If he could be bothered.

Happy fucking laundry Monday.

. 

 

He met up with the boys before first period, standing in the schoolyard as they all teased Magnus relentlessly for his general incompetence at keeping alcohol inside his stomach.

Magnus was trying to defend himself, “I hadn’t eaten practically all day guys! I’d forgotten because I was so psyched for the party. I can’t belive I missed it.”

Mahdi smirked “Ooh, and what a party it was. It really had everything Mags, you should have been there. Vilde was there. And just soo many hot girls just dancing and grinding and stuff. There even was a fight. It was perfect.”

“A fight? Anyone we know?” Magnus asked.

“Some guy just randomly attacked Elias. Don’t think they knew each other or anything.” Jonas answered.  “Could be the guy just has great intuition. The whole thing was weird though.”

“Apparently he’s starting Nissen today. Bakka transfer for some reason. Wait, someone said he was crazy or something, didn’t they?” Mahdi said, scrunching his forehead trying to think back to Friday night. Clearly not an easy task as he’d been pretty drunk.

“Yeah,” Jonas said, adding “He was thrown out of Bakka because of it, wasn’t he? Doesn’t sound like the most stable dude. He’s a third year though, so he won’t be in any of our classes.”

Isak said nothing, not trusting his voice to be altogether steady.

At the time of the party he hadn’t thought anyone had noticed since no one had said anything. But over the last couple of days he’d gotten increasingly paranoid about what had happened. 

The relief that none of the boys had noticed Even looking at him was like a weight lifted off his shoulder. He’d been worried he’d have to come up with some sort of an explanation and he’d been lost as to what he’d come up with.  

Fortunately now it seemed the only thing he had to do was to keep his distance from Elias and Even and he’d be in the clear.

. 

After first period Isak was peering out into the hallway for any sign of Elias or his friends when he noticed Even standing, or rather leaning, by the lockers down the hall.

Right next to Isak’s locker in fact.

Isak had never believed in fate but he did belive in fucked up coincidences. Clearly this was one.

He'd just have to wait until Even was done with whatever he was doing over there. But the problem was that Even didn’t seem to be doing anything. In fact it seemed like he was waiting for someone.

Isak watched as Even’s head slowly turned towards him, their eyes locking the moment he spotted Isak.

While briefly contemplating going to biology without his books, an image of Sana looking at him in that way she had popped into his head, making him discard that idea pretty quickly.

He kept standing still, considering his options, or lack thereof, as students were pressing at either side of him, trying to get through the doorway he was currently blocking.

Even’s eyes were practically sparkling and he raised his eyebrows questioningly, silently challenging Isak to react.

Isak drew a deep, shaky breath and made his way towards the person he’d been fantasizing about just a few hours prior.

When he reached his locker Even gave him a small nod by way of saying hello, and just went straight for the question that clearly was on his mind.

“That guy who tripped you. I know he goes to his school. Has he bothered you before?"

Isak’s eyes widened. What the hell was happening?

“Why do you care?”

He noticed his voice sounded exasperated. Which was good. Isak generally wasn’t very assertive and he really needed to show this guy that he wasn’t a pushover.

Well, not with Even, anyway.

 Even just stood there, clearly still waiting for an answer to his question.

They were standing too close and Isak’s heart was pounding under the intense gaze of the tall boy. Isak couldn’t belive this guy. He felt his temper rising, both from having his privacy invaded, but also from the shame of the answer to Even’s question.

“It’s actually none of your business. Just because you saw something the other day doesn’t really give you the right to any answers from me. And you can’t start beating people up at parties, no matter how much they deserve it. This is just none of your business.” 

Isak was practically shaking now. His upper back was pressed into his locker.

Even stood up, not moving away. He raised his arm slowly, resting his hand on the locker right next to Isak’s head and leaned in to whisper into his ear.

“That’s bullshit. This is none of my business? There’s no way you’re not feeling this too, I can see you’re practically dizzy from it. Trust me, you are my business now.“ 

Even raised his head back up, looking intensely at Isak for a couple of seconds before starting to walk away. After a couple of steps he turned around and winked as he said,

“See you around, Isak Valtersen.”

And Isak knew that he was screwed.

So, so screwed.

So he did the only rational thing he could think of, namely putting the whole thing out of his mind by finding his friends to suggest getting high at the first possible opportunity. They were never hard to convince, and Isak went home from school satisfied with his plans on smoking himself into oblivion on Wednesday.

He didn’t realize until he got home that he hadn’t seen Elias all day.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not a very good day for Isak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the comments and kudos. It really means a lot. Well, it means everything. It's what makes me keep going with this strange project of mine. Also I am so, so sorry for this chapter. It's short and not at all sweet.  
> Check the tags people. Please.  
> Oh, and sorry for any mistakes in this fic. Not proofread either.  
> Edit: like the previous one made hopefully a little easier to read by making a bit of space. No words changed unless a misspell. It hurts but I did it.  
>  
> 
> .

The next day Isak vas extra vigilant. He’d been lying in bed all night thinking about how to deal with this mess he'd found himself in.

He had two problems. How to avoid Elias, and how to avoid Even.

So, stealth would be his major weapon.

If he had any stealth.

Luck, he knew, would get him nowhere fast. So basically, he was screwed.

A little voice in the back of his mind was trying to insist that if there was to be screwing anyway, maybe he should just go for Even. Which made his heart stutter and Isak yelled at his brain a bit for being so stupid and proceeded to focus on finding his seat in class.

Only after the teacher came in he realized that he’d forgotten his books, and quickly asked to be excused to go and get them. His teacher nodded with a stern frown, letting Isak know he’d better hurry back.

Out in the hallway only a few students were lingering, probably having the period off.

Isak ambled down the hall, aiming for his locker. He’d just gotten his books, closing the locker, when he turned his head and saw Elias and three other boys standing at the end of the hallway.

Isak wondered for a brief second if his locker was cursed or something as so much shit was happening to him right here.

He knew he’d have to get past Elias and his little gang of homophobes to get to his classroom. Luckily, they didn’t seem to pay him any mind. They were talking amongst themselves, laughing and shoving each other like they were in some sort of competition to see who was the most ungay, testosterone-filled heterosexual of the lot.

Isak inwardly rolled his eyes and started walking towards them. They still weren’t paying him any attention, it was like they didn’t even see him.

Still, his heart rate sped up just as he passed them, and then, just like that, all hell broke loose.

Because suddenly, like they had planned it or something, they pounced on him.

The hallway was empty now, the last of the students having gone out, leaving Isak completely alone with Elias and his band of goons. He was pushed down onto the floor and into the wall of the hallway. He had no way of getting out, even if his legs had been working.

Which they weren’t.

When he looked up, he could see one of the guys looking around, and Isak’s heart sank as he realized douchebag #1 was acting as lookout.

Meaning this would probably be bad.

He didn’t have time to reflect any more upon anything because Elias and douchebag #2 had just started kicking him. He noticed they didn’t kick with all their strength, thank God. They were kicking him silently, with short, quick movements to get the most amount of hits in before they had to stop.

He could hear their grunting and panting, clearly trying to stay as silent as possible. Isak held his arms up to shield his head although they didn’t really seem to be aiming for his head. But he wasn’t taking any chances as he was sitting on the floor, knees tucked to his chest, hoping for every kick that it would be the last.

This was by far the worst attack yet and still Isak was just sitting there, not even trying to fight back. Just crouching and trying to keep them from hitting vital organs.

The kicks to his side were the worst, the tips of their feet pushing in just below his ribs. He was gasping for air now, wondering how much more he could take before screaming, and oh sweet blessed relief, the kicking stopped.

Elias whispered harshly “I fucking told you I’d get you. Goddamn faggot.“

Isak didn’t dare to look up, but clearly that was enough of a message for Elias, because Isak heard them running away just a couple of seconds later.

Worried the running had been because someone was coming, Isak quickly got to his feet, although still hunched over from the pain.

He raised his head a little, looking around.

The hallway was empty.

He took a slow, shallow breath. Time to see if he could stand upright.

Moving very slowly he held on to the wall with one hand and straightened his back.

If he moved slowly enough and kept his breathing shallow, he’d be fine. He’d be bruised to all hell and back, but he’d wear long sleeves for a couple of days so the bruises wouldn't show.

And he’d just move slowly.

And not breathe too deeply.

His heart rate was slowing down a bit from its frantic pace just a minute ago. Gathering his books from the floor was painful stuff and Isak wished he’d been smart enough to pick them up the first time he got up. But at last he had everything.

They hadn’t hit his face or head even once, meaning they knew what they were doing. Had probably planned for just such an opportunity as this.

It also meant that if he didn’t move too awkwardly no one would see that he’d just gotten his ass kicked. Small favors.

He of course got yelled at by his teacher for taking so long. No one seemed to notice how he moved differently so he sat down at his desk, keeping his head low.

He took a deep breath to calm himself, which was of course a mistake, causing pain to spread from his lungs and ribs to his entire torso.

Closing his eyes against the pain, Isak focused on the droning voice from his teacher, not really listening, but hanging on to it for dear life to get the sudden trembles he was experiencing under control. After about a minute it worked, making Isak relax slightly, grateful that no one had noticed. The rest of the class he just sat there, very, very grateful that Sana wasn't in this class. He'd probably have to ditch biology tomorrow.

. 

As he was getting out of class, Isak felt like everything around him was moving at a slightly quicker speed than he was.

Or maybe it was him who’d slowed down.

He felt detached, outside of things. In the back of his mind he realized that it was probably the pain. It made everything a little hazy. He really couldn’t let anyone notice. But Jonas and the guys would.

Well, offence is the best defense he said to himself. His inner self snorted at this, and Isak thought back to earlier when he was shoved against the wall, not being either on the offence or the defense really.

Unless one counted trying to cover his torso with his feet and arms to keep from getting hit in places that would land him in the hospital as defense.

Whatever.

Walking out into the courtyard he could see the guys sitting at the shallow steps over by that stupid statue of two girls holding hands in the most awkward angle.

He walked over to the boys, not really trying to hide his discomfort too much. He knew they’d notice anyway.

When he reached them, he started talking before anyone else could comment. “Anyone got some paracetamol or something? I have a massive headache.” 

Which was ironic, his head being pretty much the only place on his body that didn’t hurt at the moment. His life was definitely on irony overload right now, and Isak was not amused.

Magnus was frowning up at him, “Dude, you don’t look so good. Are you sick or something?” he said, as he demonstratively scooted a couple of steps up and away from Isak, making it clear he didn’t want to catch anything from his potentially sick friend. If Isak’s ribs hadn't been hurting as much and if he could have gotten a good breathing in he would have coughed all over his friend, just to scare him. Mags was terrified of germs.

But he didn’t even have it in him to tease Mags about it, so he just shook his head and waited for someone to offer up some painkillers.

Of course, Mahdi had some. They could always count on Mahdi for shit like this.

Isak swallowed down the two paracetamols with some water from the bottle he kept in his backpack and tried not to wince as he raised his arm to tip the bottle.

“So, are we ready for tomorrow night?” Isak asked, not sitting down.

Because.

Well.

He would have to get back up at some point.

So, he just stood there like it wasn’t weird that he wasn’t sitting, and tried to get the guys focused on something other than his pale face and obvious discomfort.

The mention of weed was a great help of course, and the boys started animatedly discussing who to get the best weed from.

They all knew there was only one real option, and Jonas was given shopping duty. He was the one least likely to smash Elias’ face in during the transaction. And losing Elias as dealer meant no safe weed-buying until they got a new one.

It wasn’t really that hard to find someone new, but they were still hesitant to do so, preferring the least possible amount of people to know how often they actually smoked.

Because it was probably too often. At least a couple of times a week.

For Isak it was like a sanctuary.

Just getting high enough for his mind to stop worrying about everything. He didn’t really care about the others’ reasons, he was just glad he didn’t have to smoke alone.

Somehow, he knew that would just make him feel worse. He didn't even mind that they were buying from Elias, as long as someone else did the actual transaction.

The bell rang and the boys got up, getting ready for the rest of their schooldays. Isak didn’t meet up with them again for the rest of the day.

He went through the rest of the day focusing on slowly getting deeper breaths in, and when he got home to his apartment he went straight to bed, utterly exhausted.

He slept until the next morning, not even waking once.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A better day for Isak. But weird, too.
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you for the kudos and comments. Learning as I go here so I'm grateful for anything you throw at me.
> 
>  
> 
> .

On Wednesday Isak had bio at twelve o’clock so he went and sat down in the cafeteria, because there was no way Sana would't notice that something was up if he showed his face in class.

He wasn’t worried about Elias and his friends. They probably wouldn’t bother him today, at least not physically, and probably not even that for a while. His bet was that they would wait and see if they’d taken it too far this time. That maybe Isak would tell someone.

He did consider it.

Again.

But the same reasons that had kept him from telling anyone before were still very much real. That Jonas and the others would demand to know everything, and they might even go see Elias.

Isak wasn’t worried about Elias being beat up by Jonas and the guys (because he sure as fuck would be beat up), but he worried that Elias had something on Isak that he might spill if he thought it would somehow save his ass.

Or to get back at Isak.

What if Elias knew something about the gay thing.

Hah. The gay thing. But that was how he thought about it. As something separate.

But what if there was something that Isak didn’t know about, something he’d done or said, maybe when he was drunk or high or whatever that he didn’t remember.

It also would somewhat explain how Elias had singled him out the way he had.

His thoughts were all jumbled and incoherent, but Elias knowing something he shouldn’t terrified him to the point where it was hard to breathe properly.

And not even because of the beating he’d taken yesterday.

What if the guys found out whatever it was, making it impossible for Isak to stay friends with pretty much the only friends he’d ever known. He knew he couldn’t risk that.

Still, he was starting to realize that this Elias thing was only going to get worse. He needed to do something.

But what?

He knew he would never really do anything to stand up to Elias. No matter how much he wanted to.

Because he did want to.

He really did.

He’d always had this fantasy of him standing up to Elias, about somehow gloriously kicking his ass thoroughly just once, making Elias never want to try anything ever again. But with the way Isak always froze when he saw what was coming he knew that just wasn’t happening. One needs to move one’s body in order to kick someone’s ass.

Not moving while getting his ass kicked, though?

He sure was master of that.

Isak was still lost in thought when someone sat down next to him.

It was Even.

Of course it was.

He just didn’t want to deal with this too, not today.

He was still sore all over from yesterday’s beating, although much better after sleeping for almost fifteen hours straight.

He felt weak and ashamed, even if no one knew about what had happened. But Even clearly didn’t plan on giving him space today.

Isak turned towards him slowly, raising an eyebrow in silent question.

Even was looking at him with steady eyes. When he started speaking his voice was low and tentative. “Uhm.. So I saw you in the courtyard earlier. Before class. You’re moving weird. You look kind of..like..off..When you walk. Why?”

Oh fuck his life.

Even had noticed.

None of his teachers had. Not his friends over years and years. But Even had noticed.

Perfect.

“Like what?” Isak feigned complete ignorance, even if he knew that Even wasn’t the type to let him get away with it.

“Like you’re in pain.”

“I have a headache,” Isak answered. If the boys had bought it yesterday, maybe Even would today.

He did not even want to consider what had made Even notice his walk when no one else had.

Also it was starting to feel uncomfortable, the way their sides were pressed together.

Not because of the pain in his ribs, but because his stupid heart wouldn’t calm down and that alone was stressing him out.

Even was still looking at Isak, his head turned so he could keep their eyes locked. He knew he should look away, but those piercing blue eyes were just too mesmerizing.

He also knew Even could tell he was lying.

  
“You need to come with me to the bathroom, Isak.” Evens voice was still low, still steady. The way he said the words made Isak think he was somehow having a hard time getting them out.

Isak blinked. This he had not seen coming.

“Uhm. No. What the fuck is wrong with you?” Isak stuttered.

“You can either come with me to the bathroom or I will make one hell of a scene right here in this cafeteria.”

Isak snorted. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“Isak, I will get up onto this very table and start serenading you fucking Ed Sheeran songs in front of everyone unless you come with me to the bathroom. Right. Fucking. Now.”

Isak just looked at him, incredulous.

“Don’t you have a girlfriend?”

Oh my God. He had said that. Out loud.

He felt the blush coming, and silently cursed himself a thousand times over for making the stupidest comment in the history of stupid comments.

Even smiled. “No. We broke up. How did you know about Sonja?”

“I saw you two at the party the other day. When you uhm.. when you went after Elias.”

“Oh, so you saw us, me and Sonja I mean.”

“Yeah,” Isak answered. “Not like you were trying to keep it on the down low so..” he huffed out a nervous laugh.

“But ugh, I'm sorry I asked. It’s not like I thought you were trying to pick me up or anything.”

His face was burning up.

Like.

Literally skin would be melting off of him any moment now, like lava.

“Well, when I do try to pick you up" he said, leaving heavily on the words 'pick you up' before continuing. "I sure won’t be threatening you to get into a bathroom with me. Not at school anyway” his eyes were glittering, clearly enjoying Isak’s discomfort immensely.

He added, almost as an afterthought: “Anyway, it’s over between me and Sonja.”

Even got up and started gathering Isak’s stuff from the table in front of them. Isak looked up at him in confusion. Even just kept smiling.

“Bathroom now. Or I turn into a short, guitarplaying redhead. And if you’re wondering then the answer is yes. I will modulate,” he said, turning towards the bathrooms, not even waiting for Isak to collect himself.

Isak got up, because what else could he do?

His heart was still racing and he was again wondering what the hell was up with Even. He didn’t dare ask him again why he cared so much about Isak, Even’s answer from a couple of days before still fresh in his mind.

So he followed him into the handicap toilet, careful that no one saw.

He shut the door quickly, turning the lock.

And he waited. For what, he didn't know. Even was standing a few feet away.

“Take off your hoodie.”

Isak just stared at him, dumbstruck. Take off his hoodie? What the fuck?

And the he realized. Even knew.

Or at least he suspected. Isak shook his head vehemently, lacing his voice with anger

“Fuck you. I’m not doing that.”

He looked defiantly at Even, his mind racing to find some way out of this situation. Even was the only person who’d noticed. The only person who cared enough to demand answers.

No one else had.

And just.

What if he gave in? The sudden thought made him go completely still.

What if he let Even see? Would it really be so bad?

Isak suddenly felt bone tired. His shoulder slumped and he felt tears pressing on so he squeezed his eyes shut trying to force his eyes to stop leaking.

Now was really not the time to have a breakdown. Not when he was considering this major thing. Trusting a complete stranger with his darkest secret.

And then Even was right up next to him.

He lifted Isak’s chin up with one hand, so gently, but far enough that his head was tilted slightly back.

Isak looked up into that incredible set of eyes. He knew Even could see the tears forming, but he couldn’t seem to stop them so he just let them run down his face.

He was just too tired to fight it anymore.

Even kept looking, his gaze sweeping over Isak’s face from his nose, to his eyes to his cheeks, on his lips and then back to his eyes. And then he whispered, “Please.”

Just that one simple word.

And Isak knew he’d be safe with Even knowing. Maybe he even wanted him to know.

Maybe he wouldn’t be so alone in all of this. And if Even still left, then it wasn’t like he would have lost anything anyway, right?

So he took a deep breath, carefully raised his arms, and let Even lift the hem of his hoodie, and his t-shirt too, up and over his head, leaving Isak bare chested and feeling the most vulnerable he’d ever felt in his life.

He knew his body didn’t look good, which was only confirmed when Even looked at him, his eyes flaring as he drew in a quick breath.

Isak was littered in bruises of pretty much all sizes and shades. Not too many at the front where his thighs had been pressed against his stomach and chest, creating a barrier so they couldn’t get as many kicks in. But at the sides, down his arms and on his back there were too many to count. He also had quite a few down the side of one leg, but they were fortunately still covered by his pants.

Isak could feel how Even’s eyes were roaming, taking in every single bruise.

He very carefully brushed at one of Isak’s ribs, two fingertips moving gently over, so incredibly gentle not to hurt the already bruised skin.

Isak felt goosebumps forming everywhere Even touched.

It wasn’t painful.

It wasn’t particularly nice either, as his skin kind of hurt from all the bruises.

But his heart was thundering in his chest and he felt things. Like he wanted Even to touch him more. Not just his bruises but other places too.

He wanted him to touch his neck and throat and lips. Maybe flatten his palms on his chest and let them..yeah. Not going there.

And of course he didn’t. After a few minutes Even stopped the gentle caresses on his skin, drawing in a shaky breath.

Isak had stopped crying the moment Even started touching him, and somehow he felt calmer and stronger than he had in a long time. He put his t-shirt and hoodie back on and waited for Even to say something.

“This is that guy, right? Elias? Do you know why he’s doing it?” Even wasn’t looking at Isak. He seemed to be focused on a point on the wall behind Isak’s back.

Yeah. He thinks I’m gay, and apparently he’s got a problem with that.” It was surprisingly easy to say out loud. He would have thought it would be harder.

Maybe it was because it was Even.

Or maybe it was because this wasn’t any sort of admittance that Elias was right in assuming Isak was gay.

“You can’t tell anyone. And you can’t talk to him. You can’t beat him up or do anything.”

Isak was trying hard to sound determined, to make Even understand how important this was. “I only showed you so someone would know. I just thought someone should know. You have to promise me you won’t seek him out Even.”

“I can’t promise you that Isak, what the fuck. I can’t let him do this to you.”

"It’s not up to you. Promise me.”

Even was looking almost desperate now, eyes pleading.

“Please Isak. He's hurting you.”

“Promise me. Don’t make me regret telling you.” Isak could hear the intensity in his own voice, and the words clearly made a difference because Even slumped, nodding.

“Fuck. Yeah, okay. I promise. But you need to do something Isak.”

“Yeah. I know. I just need to figure out what.”

“How about fighting back?” Even asked.

Isak sighed. Clearly he was baring his entire soul to this strange boy.

“I know it’s weak, but it’s like I can’t. Like my whole body freezes up or something and I can’t move. Trust me, I would love to kick his ass. But I just can’t do it.”

Even looked at him, “It's not weak. I promise not to tell anyone. But you need to do something for me." He paused, seemed to gather his thoughts for a couple of seconds before continuing. "If you just give me one afternoon every week from now. I promise not to hit on you, nothing like that. Just once a week for a couple of hours.”

Isak knew he ought to call Even out on his blackmailing tendencies, but he kind of wanted to spend more time with him. It felt so good to have someone know.

At least, he told himself that was why.

“Ok. Just let me know when.” Isak smiled a small smile.

Had he just gotten..a friend?

Opening the door to get out into the hallway he noticed it was now crowded with people.

People who were seeing him getting out of the handicap toilet with Even.

Not exactly ideal, but there was nothing they could do about it now, because they had already been spotted by several of the students and closing the door in panic would only draw attention. So they just got out quickly, pretending that going to the bathroom together was just totally normal.

Even stopped when they reached Isak’s locker, smiling at him.

”Ok, so I’ll see you,” he said, starting to walk away.

Just then, Elias was walking right past Even and Isak could see his shoulders tensing.

Elias had clearly seen them talking, because he, not using his indoor voice at all, said to Even, “Hey, you’d better watch out for Isak dude. I know we somehow didn’t exactly hit it off at that party, but I’m going to do you a favor anyway and tell you that Isak is gay as fuck man.” He looked up at Even, laughing conspiratorically. Like he was doing Even some huge favor by telling him this.

Even, having turned around slightly, gave Elias a big, but somehow strained smile.

Turning  just a bit further to look at Isak with his signature intense stare he said, just as loudly as Elias, “Really? I sure as fuck hope you’re right”. 

And he winked at Isak. Eyes all sparkly and everything. 

Then he turned back around, striding out the door, leaving Elias and Isak behind, both equally dumbstruck.

Elias shook his head, muttering something about 'crazy fags' under his breath, not even looking at Isak. Poor Elias was going to need some serious therapy to get over this. 

Jonas, Magnus and Mahdi chose that moment to come up to Isak, Jonas asking “Who was that guy? It looked like that dude from the party, the one who took on Elias. Did he really just say what I think he said?”

Mahdi chuckled “Oh man, Isak. Not fair. Even the guys drool all over you.”

Isak scoffed, feeling decidedly uncomfortable. “He was just joking.“

  
“Who is he?” Magnus promted.

“His name is Even. And yeah, It’s the guy from that party. “ Isak would volunteer as little information as possible, sticking only to the basics.

Jonas gave Isak a tiny pat on the back. “You should totally tap that. You know, if he isn’t crazy and all. Or, not too crazy anyway”. Mahdi and Magnus nodded in agreement, looking absolutely serious. 

Isak looked at his friends, incredulous.

“What the fuck guys? You know what, fuck this. I’m getting pizza later, anyone in?”

There were general nodding, and Mags tried to high five everyone with very little success.

And.

Well.

That was that.

Isak had managed not to deny the possibility of ‘tapping that’ as Jonas had so eloquently put it, and no one had batted an eye.

Huh.

Well, that was interesting, Isak thought.

Was he making a bigger deal out of this than was necessary? Feeling his phone vibrate in his pocket he pulled it out. It was a text from an unknown number.

 

 

**From: Unknown number**

_Do not ask me how I got your number. I will never tell. Hope I didn’t freak you out too much, but I couldn’t help myself. I’d call him a dick if that wasn’t offensive to dicks everywhere. Anyway. Sorry._

 

 

Another text popped up almost immediately after the first:

 

 

**From: Unknown number**

_Oh, and It’s Even, by the way. Really hope you already figured that out._

 

 

Wow, he would need to wipe this ridiculous smile off his face before the guys noticed and started asking questions.

Oh, but it was so. Damn. Difficult.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kudos and the comments, they really do make my day. Also sorry for not proofreading, let me know if it's too annoying and I'll try to do better. Also any comments or suggestions are as always very much appreciated. Like. Really very much.

**Wednesday**

The boys were hanging out in Isak’s room, getting very, very high. Jonas and Mahdi were on the floor, sitting slightly upright with their backs against the foot of the bed. Magnus was sprawled out on top of the bed, laying on his stomach. His head was hanging off the side of the mattress and he looked, well. High off his ass. 

Isak was just entering the room after a bit of treasure hunting in the kitchen. He’d found both chocolate (chocolate meant for baking but still) and chili flavoured chips and was feeling quite pleased with himself. Sadly there was no soda, but he’d sneakily stolen some of Linn’s Fun light and made a pitcher, enough to last them through the worst of the cotton mouth that was sure to come. They were too high to hold an actual conversation, so they sort of just stayed still, the occasional huff or grunt coming through the haze.

He was pretty sure they had been arguing over the probable origin of the weed they had been smoking, and its possible route to Norway, but he was unsure as to where the conversation had slipped into silence, him being out in the kitchen for god knows how long. It was hard to tell time when he was this high. He was pretty sure he’d been standing with his hand clutching the knob of the cupboard and staring blankly into the shelves for quite some time, because his mind had been processing (well, trying to process) whether one could make some sort of transporting device from the kitchen to his room so he wouldn’t ever need to leave his room again. He had been on to something, he was sure of it, but it had slipped out of his mind again and he couldn’t for the life of him seem to get it back. 

It wasn’t that he particularly liked the feeling of being high. The high itself really did very little for him. It had been different in the beginning. The first few times he had smoked he'd had so much fun. Giggling and feeling elated, like he was free to do anything he wanted. Now he craved the high just so he could forget about all the bad stuff for a while. His parents. Elias. Life on the inside of a closet.

It was getting increasingly difficult though. Smoking his troubles away. The knot in his chest needed him completely off his ass, obliviously high to leave him alone for a couple of hours. So he always made sure he smoked just that tiny bit extra. It made him spend up to thirty minutes to find snacks, but they were good thirty minutes. Blank and nice and just. Some other thing too probably, that his muddled brain couldn't quite come up with.

He was setting the pitcher of Fun light on the floor, careful not to spill any, and was about to hand out the snacks when he realized it had all gone away somewhere. Looking down at his empty hands he wondered for a second or two if he might have forgotten to bring the stuff from the kitchen, but then he heard the sounds of Magnus trying to grab the bag of chips from Jonas, meaning Isak had completed his mission of satisfying their munchies. Isak sank onto the bed with a sigh and closed his eyes. He took a couple of deep breaths and just lay there, perfectly still, only half a part of a world that had decided to throw him punch after punch lately. It wasn't exactly bliss, but he would take whatever the fuck he could get. 

 

 

**Thursday**

 Tired did not even begin to describe how Isak felt at 8.15 the morning after his little adventure into the mystic realms of chemically endorsed stupor. He really had gone slightly too far last night. He had fallen asleep and didn’t even wake when the boys left. His spine was killing him from sleeping in a half upright position all night.

At least he had gotten to school, and was at his desk in class, resting his head on his arms. Sana was sitting down next to him and Isak groaned inwardly.

Oh my god how would he deal? He liked Sana, but she was not someone you wanted to be around when you were sporting a hangover the size of Mjøsa. He groaned, out loud this time, as she slammed her books down next to him. 

Looking at him from, she frowned. “I’m not doing all the work today just because you’re hung over,” she said, because she was an evil, horrible person who deserved every single bad thing to happen to her. Well, some bad things at least. Like getting a 4 on their finals. Or a 5, what the fuck ever. She didn't even have hangovers. Surely she could take pity on him.

His phone buzzed. He picked it up and read the message. Surprisingly it was from his dad.

 

**From: Dad**

_Hi Isak. I need to talk to you about mom. She’s not doing so well and I think we should all sit down and see if we can talk calmly about what to do. I just want to help her, and I know you do too. I promise not to start yelling._

 

Well, at least his dad was bothering to do something, even if it was clearly too little, too late. He thought for a second, chest heavy, before replying:

 

**To: Dad**

_Yeah, I’ll come. Friday? I have a thing at seven but I can be there at four if that’s enough time?_

 

He didn’t have a thing at seven. But he’d learned that it was smart to have an out if he needed it. If they started yelling he’d just leave. His dad had promised in the text that he wouldn’t, which was nice, and Isak was sure he meant it. But his parents had never been the best at keeping promises. Especially promises not to yell. For as long as he could remember they had been yelling at each other. One snarky comment from one of them could set it all off. He never knew when it would happen, and he always, felt unprepared. And he’d never known what to do. The guilt of not being able to fix it, to make his parents see how much they were hurting each other had made him numb. Sitting there, right between them, paralyzed, trying to figure out something, his mind coming up blank. He knew all about fight and flight instinct. Clearly Isak had neither of these, opting to freeze like the loser he was.

After class he went to see the boys who were at their usual spot out in front of the school. Mahdi was crushing rather severely on a girl in his class and was getting desperate enough to start taking Magnus’ advice. Magnus was all fired up because someone was actually listening to him for a change, and he wasbtrying to convince Jonas to talk to the girl about Mahdi and his expert “pussy licking skills”. Isak really wished this was a strange conversation for his friends to be having, but sadly, not at all. 

“Come on man, you need to be a friend here,” Mags said to Jonas imploringly.

“Why me? You’re in the same class." Jonas looked almost panicked at the idea.

“Well, everyone knows I’m not an authority on the subject, but you are, Jonas. She’d totally believe you.”

Magnus was looking smug now. Just as if what he’d said had made any sense at all.

Jonas shook his head apologetically at Mahdi, saying “Sorry dude. Not doing that. Never ever doing that.”

Mahdi looked uncertain for a moment, before saying. “That’s fine man. I’m sure we will come up with something. Probably would have been weird anyway.” Isak snorted out loud, making them look at him questioningly.

“What?” He said. “Mahdi was actually thinking about having Jonas advertise his sex skills to a girl he likes. Clearly, he is in no position to make any decisions about anything."

Magnus looked as if he wanted to protest this statement, but the bell rang and Isak hurried to his locker to grab his books before Mags figured out something to say. He was scanning the hallway for Elias, but neither him or his goons were in sight so he got his locker open and started rummaging around after his books. Shit, he was going to be late for class.

A flyer fell out of his locker and onto the floor. Isak picked it up, and was about to throw it in the trash, thinking it was probably some old invitation to a party or something. Still, he glanced at it quickly, and then he paused. There was a picture of a girl in fighting stance, with the text **“Stay safe and learn to trust in yourself. New self-defense class on Thursdays 19.00-20.00.”**

At the side, there was something scribbled in blue ink. It said “Come with me. Even”

Self-defence class? Was he serious? Wasn’t those classes for girls who needed to learn to blow loudly enough in their whistles and to say “no” like they meant it? There was no way Isak would be doing that. Was it?

But. Maybe if Even came with? The note did say "come with me." And in all fairness Isak had promised him one night per week. What if they could teach him not to freeze every single time there was a situation? What if he could learn to fight back? It was very tempting, despite how awkward it would probably be.

Isak felt a small smile tug at his lips. Looking up, he saw that Even had come up to him, leaning down to smile at Isak, almost nervously.

“Come on," he said. "It’ll be fun. It starts tonight though?” He really was looking nervous. Isak’s smile widened. Even seemed to care. It felt nice. And he didn't have anything else to do on Thursdays, so.

“Sure,” Isak said. “I’ll come.”

. 

 As Isak stood outside a tired looking building in one of the shadier neighborhoods in Oslo he was starting to severely question his own sanity. It wasn’t very dark yet as the sun didn’t really set until after nine, and he was watching girl after girl enter the doors of the center for martial arts where the class was held. No boys. The girls all seemed to come in pairs though, making Isak think he probably wasn’t the only one who felt awkward about this. He was nervously shifting his feet and wondering if Even was going to show up at all, because the class was starting in about two minutes.

But then there he was. Tall and gorgeous in sweats and a hoodie. Smiling at Isak like he had actually been looking forward to spending his evening helping some stupid, inept teenage boy face his fears and learn to fight back. 

The class was already starting as they were walking in, maybe fifteen people standing around the teacher who was welcoming them and explaining to them how the course was laid out. “I see you come in pairs like we asked," he said. "That is very good. You will be working with your partner throughout the course. So for the next five weeks, if you weren’t well acquainted, you will be by the end of this.” He was smiling as he said it, like he had done this a thousand times before, and already knew everything there was to know about all of them. It was kind of comforting.

He continued: “Some of you have had experiences that is going to make this class harder than it should have been. You might get triggered by certain moves or feelings. I have to warn you. I am not a psychologist. I am here to teach you how to protect yourselves, how to be more efficient in your reactions if something were to happen. It is very important that you come see me if this is getting to be too much for you. I will try to find a way around your triggers."

He was looking at all of them very sternly as he said this, before continuing: "But if you need to talk to someone about your experiences in the past, to vent or to process, I would urge you to find someone you trust and talk to them. It's not healthy to keep these things bottled up."

Well. Isak sure as hell wasn't telling anyone about doing self defence-classes with a bunch of girls (and Even), so it would be out of the question to confide in anyone he knew.

The teacher continued: "Many people use their partners in this class to talk to about this, because there often arises a mutual understanding and a bond when two people help each other to feel and be safer than they were before. I will, of course be of as much help as I can, and throughout the exercises I will point out possible triggers so please have that in mind.“

Iak looked straight ahead, not daring to check Even’s reaction to the information. He hadn’t really considered how they would be working on moves and things, and of course it made sense that they would be paired up. He thought of having Evens strong arms around his body and couldn’t for the life of him picture himself trying to break free of that. How was he ever going to focus? 

And what if he freaked out or something? His panic attacks were few and far between, but he realized suddenly that this class was pretty much the equivalent of sending out a formal invitation, begging his panic attacks to come and wreak its havoc. And he certainly wasn't telling Even shit about his crappy life. 

Well, fuck. He had not thought this thing through at all.

 

They were given large square mats to stand on, and were told to face each other. They were fortunately also told they wouldn’t be doing stuff that demanded a great deal of physical contact today (Isak would need to preparerte himself for that), but they would learn how to stand, and how to make sure they didn’t hurt each other during training.

Isak paid attention as best he could, all the while feeling Even’s eyes on him. Every time their eyes met he felt electricity spark everywhere, and it took a herculean effort not to ignore their teacher completely.

When they were told to help each other with how to handle falls and getting back up again, it was all Isak could do not to hiss at the skin on skin contact with Even.

It was beyond frustrating.

Clearly Even was feeling it too, because he looked almost strangled, and he kept biting his lower lip. The lip biting thing didn’t help Isak’s resolve to focus on what their teacher was saying. Not one bit, and he was relived as all hell when they were dismissed from class. He got out of there as soon as he could, not really looking at Even as he told him goodbye.

 

Five minutes after leaving, as he was walking home, he got a text.

 

**From: Even**

_Thanks for coming with me. Looking forward to next time. Maybe then I’ll get to hold you down some._

With a goddamn winking smiley face at the end. This was flirting, right? Isak felt almost completely sure of it. He answered quickly, before he lost his nerve. 

 

**To: Even**

_Hope so._

 

He had a tiny little meltdown after hitting 'send'. Oh fuck fuck fuck what had he done? He really should not be sending flirty texts to Even. But his smile was stretching his face like it hadn't in months.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friday, part one.  
>  Isak is at school, and then meeting with his parents and it's a pretty horrible day that hopefully will get better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos and the comments! Yay for you! 
> 
> So in this fic Lea, Isak's sister doesn't exist. Sorry, but one kid is way enough for that family. 
> 
> Also, planning a bit of smut for the next chapter. So I was wondering if you would like a little or a lot? Or maybe wait a bit? Please let me know! 
> 
>  
> 
> .

**Friday**

Isak came to school feeling more exited than he should. It was school after all, no reason to get worked up. In the back of his mind he knew it had more than a little to do with the possibility of seeing Even again. He had never gotten an answer to his text last night and was a little nervous that he’d taken it too far with his answer.

He might also have obsessed a little bit about what Even would think of Isak practically asking to be held down by him. He had meant it only as a flirty text, but now that he thought of it that shit was practically BDSM. What if Even thought Isak got off on being bossed around? With his body covered in bruises he sure wasn’t coming off as particularly strong and independent, that was for sure.

And okay, yes, his stomach did make a bit of a flip at the thought of being held down by Even. Having his long, lean body pressed against his own, strong hands holding him in place as they writhed against each other. He might also have thought about it a bit in the shower this morning.

Well. Maybe a lot.

He had thought about Even crowding him, grabbing onto his wrists and shoving him up against the wall, licking and kissing his neck. Feeling a hard cock outlined against Even’s jeans. Grinding into each other while hands roamed on the inside of their t-shirts, over nipples and abs . He’d come so hard jerking off to his fantasy he’d almost slipped on the wet floor of the shower and bruised himself up even more. He really was jerking off too much lately. And always thinking of Even. Which felt dirty and wrong but also so good.

 

He went to put his backpack on the floor by the side of his desk in class. The hard metal on the back was doing bad things to one of the bruises on his hip and he was glad to get it off. He then went back out to find the books he needed in his locker.

Jonas, Mahdi and Mags was standing at the end of the hallway. Magnus saw him before he had reached them and shouted “Friiidaaaaay!” loudly enough that it made everyone within ten feet of them visibly wince, a couple of them even covering their ears.

“Calm down man,” Jonas was saying, sounding exasperated, as Isak reached them.

“Now that every single person at Nissen and surrounding areas knows what day it is, what are we doing tonight?” Mahdi asked no one in particular.

Magnus made a small jump, clearly brimming with restless energy, saying “I want to get drunk and hook up with the hottest chick at whatever party we go to. Will you guys help? Don’t say no! Come on, I need this! I have low self-esteem!”

Jonas sighed.

Mahdi said “No. And you do not have low self-esteem."

Isak looked at Magnus before saying “Wow Magnus. I really would, but I’m running awfully low on magic at the moment.”

“Guys, come on, I could totally get the hottest girl at the party, you guys just need to help me out,” Magnus complained.

Mahdi raised an eyebrow "Wow, even with your terrible self-esteem?" He didn’t get an answer to this as the bell rang and Isak had to hurry to get his books.

Coming back into the classroom, he sat down and opened his backpack to see if he could find a pencil.

Well, fuck him.

Groaning, he looked at the mess in his backpack. Someone had poured chocolate milk all over everything. His backpack was soaked, all of the books and notes that was in there ruined. And fuck, his laptop was in there too.

He fished it out quickly, and fortunately it was only a little wet as it had been covered by his biology book (which was falling apart in his hands). The laptop worked fine, thank God. Isak sighed with relief and took out all his stuff and put it on the floor next to his desk, giving any classmates who looked at his sogging wet books questioningly a look that told them to mind their own business.

He didn’t dare ask to be excused to clean the mess up now. This could just be a trap to get him alone in the hallway or, even worse, the toilets or something. Also, this meant the cease fire of the last couple of days were over. Thank God it was Friday.

 

 

He went straight home after school. Hah, yeah, home. He was kind of surprised he still called it 'home' in his mind, because the place didn’t feel like it anymore. Not after he had left his mom there months ago. Now it just felt like a place that held loads of memories for him, both bad ones and really really good ones.

He stood outside the door, unsure of whether he should ring the doorbell or just go straight in. After a moment’s hesitation he did both, first ringing the doorbell to alert his mother that he’d arrived, and then opening the door hesitantly. His mom was clearly expecting him, meeting him at the door and ushering him in after an awkward hug.

Sitting in the sofa, waiting for his dad who was, of course, late, he tried to ask her how she was doing. She nodded several times. Hesitating a little, she said “Isak, I have to say this before your dad comes. It's just something that I need you to know. You know that it’s ok that you don’t live here anymore, right? I have started on some meds that are supposed to calm me down a bit. I only just started, but I think they’re working. I’m fine on my own you know. I don't want you to feel bad about leaving. That's all. That's all I wanted to say." She looked at him uncertainly.

Isak had, in fact, noticed that his mom was much less fidgety than she normally was, and was happy and not a little relieved to hear she was feeling better. And it felt really good to hear those words. He had felt the guilt. Still kind of did. But it was nice to know she didn't blame him for leaving.

But if she was doing better then why had his dad wanted them to meet? The text had said his mom wasn’t doing so good. And here she was, telling him the exact opposite. Even comforting him, telling him it was okay that he’d left her. It made him nervous. Because his mom seemed fine. He nodded and smiled at her before giving her a hug.

“Thanks mom. It's good that you're feeling better. Uhm. Do you know why Dad wanted to see us?” He was starting to feel like he was being set up for something, and it was not a good feeling.

“No, he just told me he had something to tell us and that we should all be here.” She sounded tired when she talked of his dad. No wonder, Isak thought. They were probably all tired of this. Trying to keep this broken family somewhat on speaking terms with each other.

Hearing the muffled slam of a car door, he drew in a deep breath. His dad had probably lied to either both of them or one of them, and Isak braced himself for whatever was going to happen.

His dad entered without ringing the bell. He just came in, looked briefly at the two of them, and sat down in a chair next to the couch. He had an envelope in his hands that he put on the table, car keys on top. He looked really nervous. “So." He halted a bit. "Thank you for coming Isak. I -uhm. I wasn’t completely honest about what this was about.” He didn’t look at Isak as he said the words, instead keeping his gaze fixed at the candle standing on the coffee table.

Isak nodded, saying “Yeah. I figured.”

His mom looked at Isak questioningly. He just shook his head, trying to convey to her that it wasn’t important, and she didn’t push.

His dad picked up the envelope, opening it as he drew in a deep breath and then words came tumbling out of his mouth. “Uhm. These are papers for separation. I’m going to file for divorce. I have filled out everything and had witnesses sign them. I really want you to sign these as soon as possible Marianne. And I’ve contacted a lawyer. You should get one too.”

 

Several seconds of stunned silence followed, Isak suddenly realizing why his dad had wanted him to be here. He was using his own son as a buffer in case Marianne went off her hinges. Isak felt the betrayal rip through him, making it difficult to breathe. What a fucking coward of a dad. He looked over at his mom, trying to see her reaction. She just sat there, looking straigt at his dad. But she was shaking like a leaf.

His dad coughed a bit before continuing “You can have the house Marianne. I’m not going to touch it. But we need to end this. Us.”

His mom still didn’t answer. Isak looked up at his dad. He couldn’t even call him out on what a piece of shit he was being because his mom was so close to losing it. All Isak wanted was to get his dad to leave the house, so he got up, went into the kitchen and found a pen. He sat back in the sofa next to his mom. He took the papers, found the place for his mom to sign and handed her the pen. She took it, hands shaking.

He felt like his heart was being ripped to shreds. He knew his dad was right, that they needed to end this. But the pain of knowing his family was broken beyond repair, and that he would be left to pick up the pieces of his mom in just a few minutes made it hard to breathe. He watched as his mom put her shaky signature on the papers.

The moment the papers were signed his dad got up to leave. He paused at the door, saying “I’m sorry,” before closing the door rapidly behind him. Isak didn’t know who the apology was directed at. Probably both of them. But he had looked at neither of them as he had said it.

His mom drew in a couple of big breaths, heaving like she was running out of air, before finally breaking into the most horrible, guttural sobs that he had ever heard. He put his arms around her awkwardly, letting her lean against his shoulder. He felt tears running down his own cheeks too. It was over. Their family was over. Maybe they hadn't been the best of families, but there had been good times. And now it was over.

They sat like that for a long time. His mom still sobbing. He wanted to say something to make her feel better, but he knew there was nothing to say. They had known for a long time that it was over, but having it on paper still hurt. Being left hurt.

Eventually her sobs were reduced to small sighs every now and then, and she huffed a little. Then she seemed to gather herself, got up and went to the kitchen where Isak could hear her blowing her nose and take a couple of deep, raspy breaths. She was really doing way better than he had expected and he was feeling so proud of her. It must be so scary, especially for her, to know she was on her own now.

When she came back into the living room she gave him a  wobbly smile. “Hey, Isak. I’m going to call Julie and have her come over tonight. I’m going to get more than a little drunk and trash talk your dad like you have no idea. And I really don't want you to see me drunk so.”

His mom was the bravest person. Isak smiled widely at her, thinking that a night of complaining to her best friend sounded like a pretty perfect way to deal with all of this. He also knew his mom did this so he wouldn’t feel like he had to stay with her.

He was grateful for it, because he really needed to process this himself, and he couldn’t do that in front of his mom. It would only make her feel bad. So he waited until she had made plans with Julie before he gave her a hug and left.

When he was sitting on the tram he checked the chat group with Jonas and the guys. It was pinging incessantly. He started at the first unread message.

 

**Kattehookern og vennene hans**

**Magnus** : So, who hosts the pregame?

**Jonas** : I can’t host

**Mahdi** : You know I can never host

**Magnus** : Isak?

**Magnus** : Isaaak!!

**Magnus** : Isak come on, don’t play hard to get. Pregame at yours?

**Jonas** : How about pregame at yours Magnus?

**Magnus** : Well, it will be the last pregame I ever attend if I host

**Magnus** : Isaaaaaakkkkkkkkkkkk!

**Mahdi** : Maybe he’s some place where he can’t talk

**Jonas** : Chill, he’s going to answer

**Magnus** : He still hasn’t answered

**Jonas** : It’s been ten minutes

**Magnus** : Who doesn’t check their phone in ten whole minutes?

**Mahdi** : Isak

**Magnus** : Fuck you

**Isak** : Sorry guys, I was busy. Can’t host tonight, and not going out either.

**Magnus** : WHAT????? You make us wait like an hour and now you bail?

**Jonas** : Everyhing ok?

**Mahdi** : We waited like 30 minutes Mags calm down

**Isak** : Just stuff with my mom. Don’t feel like going out that’s all.

**Jonas** : Ok. Want me to come over?

**Magnus** : If you take Jonas too I’m going to kill you Isak. I can’t have only Mahdi as my wingman he’s going to try to steal every single chick I talk to

**Mahdi** : It’s not stealing if they choose me

**Magnus** : SEE?!?

**Isak** : It’s fine Jonas. No need to come over. I’ll be fine

**Jonas** : If you’re sure?

**Isak** : Yeah, thanks though

**Jonas** : Mahdi, I guess it’s time to get you laid!

**Mahdi** : Haha!

**Magnus** : Fuck all of you

 

 

Just as he was putting his phone back in his pocket it pinged again, but with a different sound.

 

**From: Even**

Doing anything tonight? I’m bored.

 

**To: Even**

I thought Thursday was our day

 

**From: Even**

Thursday is our day because I literally blackmailed you into it. Tonight would be almost completely blackmail and violence free.

 

**To: Even**

Haha, ok sure. What are we doing?

 

**From: Even**

Riding our bikes

 

**To: Even**

Wow that sounds very exiting. Exept my bike is missing it’s front wheel

 

**From: Even**

Rough neighborhood?

 

**To: Even**

Yeah. Practically Compton

 

**From: Even**

We’ll take my bike then. Pick you up at 8?

 

**To: Even**

Ok, where?

 

**From: Even**

Is it creepy that I know where you live?

 

**To: Even**

Very. See you

 

Ok, so not the night of wallowing in self-pity that he’d imagined. Well, he could wallow tomorrow. Right now he needed to get home and try to find something to wear. He realized how ridiculous that sounded, even to his own mind. He wasn't the kind of person to worry about his clothes. 

Still, he was back at his apartment in record time.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Swimming pools, weirdness, and some smut at the end.
> 
> Yeah, that really does sum it up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is really too long. But I couldn't seem to help it. I blame the smut.  
> Summer's been kind of kicking my ass so I'm sorry about the wait. Please leave a comment so I know what you like or don't like. Or if you have requests. I keep trying to speed this story up but I seem to be a minute by minute kind of person. 
> 
> Oh, and this is more than 3000 unproofread words. Sorry.
> 
>  
> 
> .

Isak was sitting on the back of Even's bike, holding on for dear life as Even kept steering like he was drunk. Isak had this surreal feeling of detachment. It felt like he was in a movie or something.

A really sappy, romantic movie. Not a very realistic one either, because who would want to see to boys fall in love anyway. Well, one boy was falling in love at least. He couldn’t be entirely sure of Even, but still. Isak felt free and happy, and daring. Like they were on their way to some great adventure or something. Which was ridiculous considering they were about ten minutes from his apartment. When he tipped his head to the side he could see that Even was smiling. He looked carefree and happy, and Isak longed to wrap his arms around his waist. He didn’t of course.

They kept riding, passing houses in the fading sunlight. Isak could have done just this all night, but all of a sudden Even stopped his bike and turned quickly towards Isak while climbing off the bike.

“I feel like going for a swim” he said as he walked towards a large white house. Isak climbed off too, frowning at the surprise. Even was walking over to the side of the house, and Isak felt a pang of nervousness at he watched him start to crack open a pair of windows leading into a pool. Isak went over and just stood there.

“Even, we can’t just break into some random house. We need to go, like, right now.”

“Well, we’re not actually breaking in, this is my aunt’s house. She’s on holiday but she won’t mind if we use her pool,” Even said, smiling briefly up at Isak before turning back to finish his task of getting the windows open.

Isak just stood there, not really knowing what to say and not wanting to ruin his little adventure with Even with questions about his aunt. When Even got the window open and asked him “You’re in?” Isak nodded. He knew what they were doing was crazy, but really, if this was the house of some relative what would be the harm in going for a little swim?

For once letting go of his fears, he jumped right in through the open windows, following Even. He was standing at the edge of the pool, his voice echoing strangely in the room as he tested the water and claimed that it was perfect. They both took off their shoes and socks, placing their cellphones in their shoes to keep them from getting wet.

Isak had no idea what got into him. Maybe he was dreading taking his clothes off in front of Even, maybe he was just feeling a little wild, but he pushed Even into the pool, fully clothed, Even screeching as he hit the water. Isak lost his balance quite on purpose and jumped in after him, splashing and landing almost on top of Even who was still underwater. Isak had to wait for a few seconds before Even came out of the water right in front of Isak, water streaming off of him. All he could think about was how beautiful he looked.

He was smiling that mischievous smile of his as he asked Isak “Did you think I’d died?”

"Haha, yeah, I was so worried man." And then they both went quiet.

Isak could feel Even’s breath on his face, as they waded the water. It was ridiculous that he would find it so hot just being close to someone. Well, not anyone.

This was Even.

The boy who had told Isak that there was something between them. Something more. Isak took a deep breath and just stared at Even, silently willing him to get what Isak was trying to convey. They were both just treading the water and staring into each other’s eyes. Isaks gaze travelled down to those full lips, now wet and glistening.

The air felt charged, and he was scared. What if he was imagining everything? What if somehow he’d gotten it all wrong? What if Even wasn’t feeling the things that Isak felt, and he made a complete ass of himself? But even if Isak didn’t dare move an inch, his mind was screaming.

_Oh god, please kiss me. Please please kiss me._

Even seemed to get the message. He backed Isak slowly up to the edge of the pool and just looked at him almost wonderingly before he slowly put his lips on Isak’s.

Oh thank God, Even had made the first move. Isak all of a sudden felt safe. Like this, what he was feeling, was okay. It was okay that his own lips were touching those of another boy. They still had water running from their hair and into their noses, making it difficult to breathe, but they were kissing and Isak never wanted it to stop. He could feel Even’s lips, full and so soft against his own. Both of their mouths were closed and at first they just held them there. Pressed against each other.

But then Even was opening his mouth just a little before closing it again, right on top of Isak’s upper lip. Isak opened his own mouth just a fraction, and felt Even’s lower lip between his own. They did this over and over again, lips closing over each other, until Isak tilted his head slightly to the side so their noses wouldn’t collide. The next time he felt Even opening his mouth Isak did the same, but moving his head back a little and opening up a little more before closing it. And the he felt Even’s tongue brushing against his slightly parted lips. He brought out his own tongue, tentatively. And then tongues met.

And Isak felt it, deep in his bones. The kiss was slow and soft and so good. Isak thought he would die from just kissing this boy. Over and over they drew back before leaning back in, their tongues meeting again, twirling around each other, light and careful before retreating, getting ready for more. That a kiss could be like this was amazing to Isak. He was just starting to contemplate how to go about deepening the kiss to explore more of Even’s mouth when out of the corner of his eye he saw a little girl standing at the other end of the pool.

His heart nearly stopped when he heard her screaming “Mommyyy!”

Isak was trying to scramble out of the pool when she screamed again,

“Mommy! Even is in the pool with all his clothes on! And he's kissing a boy!”

Isak, who had already started to scramble out of the pool, turned to look at Even. The girl had said Even’s name? And that’s when he noticed that Even was holding on to the edge of the pool, laughing so hard he was crying. “Isak oh my god you should see your face right now!” Even had to pause for air because he was laughing so hard.

“Chill. This is my cousin Petra.” Isak just sat on the edge of the pool, still sort of in shock when Even swam over to the other side and started talking to the girl.

“Hey Pomfry, you really do know how to scream kid.”

  
“Even! Don’t call me Pomfry, you know I hate it,” the girl said clearly not hating it at all because she was smiling at him as she said it.

Isak heard a door open and then a woman appeared. She was short and stout, with long dark hair in a bun, wearing an actual flowery apron over black slacks and a white shirt with ruffles on the wrists. Isak’s mind was reeling, because she looked nothing like any kind of relative to Even that he would have ever imagined. That is, if he’d been inclined to imagine any of Even’s relatives.

Which he hadn’t.

Well, maybe his mom.

And it sure had been nothing like this. Isak imagined Even’s mom as a tall, lithe woman with short wavy hair, almost like Sonja’s. And wasn’t that something to be stored for later therapy sessions.

This woman, on the other hand, who may or may not be on the verge of calling the police, was looking quite sternly at Even. “I’ve told you to come and use the pool any time, and now you break in to use it? And fully clothed too? That really is very insanitary Even. Get out of the pool. I will find some clothes for you and your friend and you can come have dinner with us if you want. It’s Friday, so tacos of course.”

"Sorry. I was just trying to impress Isak here with my daring ways. Aren't you supposed to be in Mexico?."

"That's next week!" Petra said, still way too loudly.

Isak looked at the woman.

Then at ehm..Pomfry _(what the fuck kind of a nickname was that?)_ who was jumping up and down demanding to also go swimming in her clothes, and lastly at Even.

Who was looking at Isak like he was going to give him so. much. shit. about this later. Like Isak had any control over the deer-in-headlights- sort of expression he was surely wearing.

But okay. Dinner then. He could do dinner. As long as the woman didn’t call the police.

.

 

The dinner was surprisingly un-awkward. Isak learned the reason for Petra’s nickname, something about Even mumbling her name once when he was laughing and out of breath and it had sounded like Pomfry. The aunt’s name was Karla and she didn’t ask one single embarrassing question.

Petra was another story, she was clearly unaccustomed to two boys kissing and had the strangest questions about it. Like if they also kissed girls, and whether this meant they were boyfriends. Isak had no idea how to answer any of it, didn’t even know the answers himself. Even just laughed and didn't answer either.

Thankfully her mother quickly shut down all of the girls’ questions with a pointed stare, and they ate while Even told them stories about when Petra was little and she had peed all over her mothers’ curtains in the middle of a diaper change, making Petra laugh so hard she snorted soda through her nose and maybe even a small piece of paprika. As the boys got up to leave, Isak thanking Karla profusely for the meal and apologizing for the tenth time about breaking into her home, Karla sent Even a strange look. It seemed like she wanted to ask him something, and Even, noticing, took both of her hands in his, and looking into her eyes. “I’m fine. Don’t worry.“ She visibly relaxed at that, hugging him and then Isak, before ushering them out the door.

“So…” Isak was sitting at the back of Even’s bike again. Feeling like those kids in the chronicles of Narnia probably felt when they went back through the closet and landed back in England.

He still didn't dare wrapping his arms around Even's waist. The magical feeling from when they were kissing in the pool had dissipated as they had dinner with Even’s family, but he wanted it back so bad. He didn’t want this night to end. And so he braced himself before speaking

“Uhm. Wanna come over to my place and hang out?”

“Fuck yeah.”

.

 

They both got into Isak’s bedroom without anyone noticing. Not that they were being very stealthy about it. It was after ten on a Friday night so Eskild was probably out and Linn was probably in her room.

Isak was feeling self-conscious. His bed was a mess, and the sheets hadn’t been changed in probably a month. Honestly, probably two. There were empty and half-empty plates scattered everywhere, and clothes that may or may not be laundry was strewn across the floor. Pigs would live happily in this room.

But Even didn’t seem to mind. He was looking at Isak with this intense gaze, making shivers run through him. The nervous feeling in his gut came back full force and he couldn’t look into Even’s eyes, so he looked at his chest. Which felt stupid. But then the chest was coming closer, slowly. Isak dared to glance up at Even’s face, and fuck if he wasn’t still smiling. On any other person in any other situation it would have been a very douchey smile.

But here, now, in the dark, quiet room?

It felt like a promise of wonderful things to come.

Isak knew they both wanted each other. He just had no idea how to proceed. He had no idea what Even expected out of this, and he was so scared he would have to tell him no at some point if it got to be too much. His mind was horribly unhelpful because it kept infusing images of himself and Even tangled up in each other, making Isak forget exactly what to be scared of.

Oh, but then they were kissing again. Even’s lips taking control, dipping his tongue softly and gently just inside Isak’s mouth. The world started spinning again. And Isak was on his back in his bed, Even on top of him. Quickly the kiss turned filthy, nothing like the kiss in the pool. The ache in his groin was making it difficult to not move his hips. He needed to create some friction, but the only thing he had to rub up against was Even's thigh. Well, screw it. Isak rubbed his groin upwards towards Even and it felt heavenly. It did absolutely nothing to ease the ache in his dick though.  Even grabbed a hold of Isak’s hair, not painful but still firm, and tilted his head slightly to the side. And then Isak could feel Even’s mouth kissing him right where his jaw met his neck. Right behind the earlobe. The skin was so sensitive there, Isak groaned out loud at the sensation.

  
“Fuck you’re hot” Even was muttering against his skin.

Isak was so hard already, and he was fervently hoping the kissing and grinding wouldn’t be the end of it. He was still writhing underneath Even, trying to create some friction, and Even seemed to get the memo, because his hand was suddenly on Isak’s crotch. Isak stopped breathing for a second. The feeling of another person’s hand on his dick was amazing. The excitement and tension of not knowing what that hand would do? This was way better than anything he'd ever done to himself.

  
The hand started unbuttoning his jeans, pulling them down. Another hand came to help, and then Isak was lying in only his boxers. He briefly wondered if he should do something about Even’s pants as well but his mind was too muddled, his skin was on fire and all he wanted was for the hands to keep touching him.

Heart racing, he felt Even’s lips on his neck, lower this time. And a tongue darting out, licking every now and then, making his neck wet and his thighs tremble. His dick was straining up against his boxers, precum making a little stain at the front. He could feel the wet fabric against the head of his cock. He would feel embarrassed if not for the groan that came from Even’s throat as he slid his hand over the wet stain. Even slid his hand underneath the fabric of the boxers, his fingers brushing the length of the rock hard cock searchingly.

Isak’s breaths were coming fast now, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold on for very long. He felt bad about not doing any of the good stuff for Even. Basically Isak was just lying there, while Even’s hands and mouth roamed and stroked. It felt almost too good, way better than any of the fantasies he’d entertained about just this moment. It felt so realt, so tangible. And the way Even was rutting against the mattress next to him told him that he wasn’t hating this either. He felt Even shift around and then his boxers was being dragged down. Even was clearly on a mission, his body strung with intense concentration. Even was now lying half on top of Isak. One hand closing around Isak's erection, the other hand gripping his thigh, pushing it upwards and outwards. Isak felt exposed and hot and horny and when Even looked into his eyes, silently asking Isak to keep his leg where it was, he just nodded, eyes half lidded in pure lust.

The hand on his dick was suddenly moving slowly up and down, lightly jerking him off while Even’s free hand stroked lightly downwards, over Isak’s balls, before stroking his ass and landing on his crack. Isak was far too gone in lust to stop this, and anyway he didn’t want to.

Whatever Even was doing was magic, and Isak never wanted it to stop. He felt long fingers stroking first gently, then more firmly against his crack. Isak shifted his hips slightly to give better access and then the pad of Evens index finger was pressing right up against his hole.  Isak had never even touched himself back there, never had imagined how good it could feel.

And it felt so good.

At first Even just stroked, but when he put some pressure on, just a little bit against the rim, Isak gasped out an “Oh fuck” on an inward breath.

His hands needed something to cling to, but Even was too far down now so Isak’s hands found the sheets and crumpled them in his sweaty palms, gasping, head turning sideways. The pressure in his groin was building and building, as Even’s hand on his dick was stroking faster and faster. Isak cast a quick glance down, and Even was looking positively sinful, eyes staring right back into Isak’s as he worked on him with both hands and still managing to rut into the mattress. The view was amazing and Isak could feel himself slipping over the edge at the way those incredible blue eyes bore into him, so intent on Isak’s pleasure.

  
“Even? Fuck, Even, I’m gonna come,” Isak managed to gasp out.

Even eased the pressure on Isak’s rim for a couple of seconds before putting the pressure back on, not breaching, but pushing against his hole like he wanted in, like he was getting Isak ready. And Isak came. Hot spurts of come all over his stomack and even some in Even’s hair. Even was looking at his dick the whole time, a long almost painful-sounding groan slipping out as he milked the last of Isak’s come out of his dick. 

 

Isak was completely out of breath and utterly spent. Even’s hands still on his cock, and his finger still between his ass cheeks. He knew he needed to say something. The first thing that came to mind was “Uhm. Will you let me do you?”

Even looked slightly abashed before answering “Uhm. Too late? You are so hot when you come Isak.” 

Oh my god was he blushing? Even was blushing? With one hand on his dick and another practically up his ass? 

“Wait, you came too?” Isak couldn't belive it. 

“Yeah. My pants are a mess.”

“That’s so hot”

“I’m glad you think my lack of orgasm control is hot. In my defense, that has never happened to me before.”

Isak smiled. He felt special, knowing he'd done that to Even. He was hot enough to make someone like Even come in his pants. That was so cool. He shifted again, felt Even’s hands slipping from his ass, and then moving upwards.

They stayed like that for a long time, just lying next to each other. When they fell asleep, they were holding hands. When they woke up on Saturday morning, they were in each other’s arms.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm digging myself deeper into the smut-hole. 
> 
> And isn't that the worst sentence in the history of sentences.  
> They talk too, I swear.
> 
>  
> 
> .

Isak woke up slowly on Saturday morning. Before even opening his eyes he breathed in the intoxicating scent of sleepy Even. They were tangled together. Isak with his thigh in between Even's legs, head resting right below Even’s armpit. 

And hand on Even’s happy trail.

Trey were still naked. Isak smiled a small smile into Even’s skin, making Even twitch a little before tightening his grip around Isak, squeezing gently.

It felt so strange. It wasn't awkward, and not embarrassing, waking up like this. And that was the strange part. Shouldn’t Isak be at least a little nervous? Shouldn't he be a little apprehensive about waking up next to this blue eyed demi-god? But he wasn’t the tiniest bit anxious.

He felt like he wanted to continue exploring what their bodies could do together. Something had happened last night. Something beyond having almost sex (maybe entirely sex? How was sex defined in a world where vaginas had been taken out of the equation?) with another guy. What had happened was a feeling of rightness.

It just...felt so right. With Even. And Isak knew without a doubt that this was it for him. He was scared shitless about everything that this meant, but he knew that if he intended to have these feelings, this happiness, this peace inside? He would have to tell his friends. And if they couldn’t handle it, he would have to find new ones. Or join Linn on the couch. He was going to come out to the guys. And he was even looking forward to it, in between the being scared shitless part.

But right now he was here. On a warm Saturday morning, lying in bed with a naked Even. And Isak felt like taking advantage of that fact to learn himself some new skills that could come in handy now that he was going all out on the gay thing. His hand trailed slowly down towards Even’s cock. It was warm, and it twitched at the touch of Isak’s hand. He looked up at Even’s face. His eyes were closed, but a tiny smile was playing on his lips.

 

“Even?” Isak whispered.

“Mhm..”

“Could I maybe try to blow you?”

Isak could feel the muscles in Even’s legs tense up at the question. It took a little while but it was with a little laugh he answered, “Yeah. Really? Oh my god this is the best morning ever.” Even’s eyes were still closed, but his smile had widened. And his cock was already stiffening under Isak’s hand.

“Uhm. I haven’t done it before so I might suck at it.” Even chuckled and Isak realized the pun.

“Oh my god!” Isak snorted. “You know what I mean!”

“Yeah. I’m sure you’ll be fine though. But you really don’t have to”

“I know” Isak answered, as he kissed one of Even's nipples, drawing out a tiny grunt from the gorgeous boy.

Moving down over the pale skin of his stomach he breathed in the scent of Even. As he got lower he could feel Even’s cock at his chin, and he turned his head down. Even was fully hard by now, lying thick and glorious, waiting for Isak to touch it.

Isak started stroking him, feeling the silky-smooth texture over the hard length. He tentatively drew the foreskin back a bit before jerking his hand slowly back up again. Even let out a sound somewhere between a grunt and a small moan, and Isak loved hearing it. It made him feel sexy, having Even just lying there, taking what Isak could give him.

He started licking upwards from the base to the tip, flattening his tongue slightly when he reached the head. The sharp intake of breath he heard from the top end of the bed told him this had been a very good idea. He pulled back the foreskin again, tightening his fist a bit, and licked the head again, adding a little pressure this time.

Yes, those sounds were definitely not sounds of pain.

Slowly he started working the cock into his mouth, careful not to get his teeth anywhere near it. He was so enraptured in his exploration of what his mouth could do that he almost didn’t notice the increasingly rapid breathing coming from Even. When Isak decided to give his jaw a small break and lifted his head to look up at his face, he was almost mesmerized by the sight.

Even was lying back, head resting on a pillow, hair in absolutely every direction. His cheeks were flushed crimson and his mouth was partly open. And he was looking down at Isak with a gaze both focused and at the same time almost glazed over with need.

Fuck, the boy was hot. Isak dove back in, determined to find out exactly how to make Even come. Wrapping his mouth around Even’s length once more, he looked up at the piercing blue eyes, keeping eye contact while slowly letting his lips and mouth swallow the cock almost all the way down to the base. Even’s hands were twisting up the sheets and Isak used his free hand to grab one of them, placing it on top of his head.

Giving Even control over his mouth.

Even came undone at that. He started shallowly thrusting upwards. Isak groaning encouragingly, mouth tight around the cock, one hand gently squeezing Even’s balls. It only took a couple of minutes before Even started pulling at Isak’s hair, trying to pull him off.

“Isak, I’m gonna come, you have to get off if…oh fuck I’m coming. Isak, Isak Fuuuck…”

Ok, so he rambles right before he comes, Isak noted smugly. And renewed his efforts, sucking until he felt hot spurts in the back of his throat and he heard Even moaning way too loudly. He kept on sucking, milking Even until the boy was lying limply in bed, not even moving a muscle. The taste of cum was strange in his mouth, but not entirely unpleasant. Isak was pretty sure he could get used to it, especially after seeing what him swallowing Even's come did to the other boy.

After a couple of minutes, Even grinned down at Isak, before winking at him and saying “Well, you sure were right. You really really suck.” 

“Oh no, I probably have to practice a lot then.” Isak said, tongue in cheek.

“No you really don’t. But please please do.” Even said, making Isak huff out a laugh.

It wasn’t until he was scooting back up to kiss Even that Isak noticed his own hardness. Even clearly did too, because he gave Isak a wicked smile before saying “You know, I’m very competitive. It’s really unfair if you are the only one who gets to practice.”

Isak smiled.  “Well, I wouldn’t want you to feel at a disadvantage. I’m sure we’ll find a solution.” Even smiled broadly before going down on Isak like there was no tomorrow. 

 

It was a good morning.

 

.

 

Later that same Saturday they were lying next to each other, talking and listening to music.

"So Isak, how did you end up here, in this kollektiv?"

Isak shuddered a bit before replying. “Well, dad left my mom. And my mom is sort of sick. Like, mentally. And she really had enough dealing with herself. So I left too."

He was silent for a while before continuing. “I felt crappy about it for a long time. But she’s doing better now. So maybe it was a good thing I left. I don't know.”

“So, does she have a diagnosis?” Even asked. Isak shrugged. “Several, probably. She has sort of severe anxiety. And depression probably. I don’t know. We don’t really talk about it. She’s really great though. Getting stronger. I can’t imagine what it’s like being that scared all of the time, and still going out there and doing the stuff that scares you the most. I think the people that are the most scared are really like the bravest people too.” Realizing he was ranting Isak abruptly stopped speaking. They were silent for a little while before Even slowly started speaking.

 

“So. Uhm, Isak?"

"Yeah?"

"What if I told you I was mentally ill too?”

Isak looked up into Even’s face. He was looking serious, almost somber.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m bipolar.”

“You’re bipolar?”

“Yeah.”

Isak was confused. He didn't know much about bipolar so he didn't really know how to react. So he said the first thing that popped into his head.

“But you act completely normal?” Isak could have kicked himself, what a stupid thing to say.

Even just smiled. It was the saddest smile Isak had ever seen.

“Yeah. Most of the time I am. I have medicine that helps a lot. Before that things got pretty bad. I know there are rumors about me, from my days at Bakka.”

Isak thought about the girl at the party who’d said he was a psychopath. Even Jonas had heard stuff.

“So, could you tell me about it? Like, how it works?”

Even visibly relaxed at that. Isak realized he’d probably been worried that Isak would bolt immediately at this revelation.

So he settled into the crook of Even’s neck and breathed him in. And Even told Isak about how he was manic at Elvebakken and made some huge scenes in front of his friends and teachers. And about the depression afterwards. About the signs and the medication and the therapy. About how he always questioned every single thing he was feeling, if it was real or not. How lonely it was when he didn't even have himself to trust.

And Isak listened.

And then Isak told Even about his mom and dad. About the yelling and the fighting. How whenever his dad asked Isak how he was, Isak could hear how scared the mas was. Scared of getting an answer that wasn't “I’m fine”. Because even if you father a child that doesn’t mean you’re fit to be a father.

And he told Even about how he just froze up whenever his parents would start fighting. About the anxiety attacks. How he always had an escape route planned, and no matter where he was he always made sure he knew every single way out, even through the windows. Especially at school. He told Even about the three different kinds of latches on the windows, depending on which building you’re in, and how the windows on the second floor, outside of the biology room won’t open at all.

He explained how his mind kept playing different scenarios so he’d know what to do if Elias found him. And how none of it seemed to matter anyway because his body just shuts down whenever he senses danger.  

He joked about how if he was in Walking Dead, he would die in the first episode. Even laughed a little at that, but it sounded like a sad laugh. Isak didn't mind.

And in between all the words, all the tales of broken hearts and broken minds, they kissed. Slow, languorous kisses that faded into silence and trust and safety. And Isak thought that if he could just have this, then nothing else mattered.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for Mags being Mags
> 
> The self defense stuff is real. Go on you tube and practice with a friend. It's actually a lot of fun I promise! 
> 
> Also thank you for the kudos and the comments, I'm having so much fun writing this.
> 
> ...

Sometime around noon on Sunday Isak’s luck ran out. He had been so sure Eskild was working today and Linn practically never came out of her room anyway so he and Even had ventured out into the kitchen to heat up a frozen pizza.

Isak had just put the plastic wrapper inside of the cardboard box of the pizza, getting ready to throw it away when Even mock gasped and tried to take the box from Isak, claiming that if they didn’t recycle properly, keeping plastics and cardboard separate, whales would die and the world would basically end. When Isak refused to give up his trash to Even’s sorting skills Even exacted the glorious revenge of pinning Isak against the counter, rubbing his crotch against Isak’s while whispering, “come on baby. Give it to me.” And Isak had just been about to (in more ways than one), but well, Eskild was clearly not working, because suddenly he was right there, in the kitchen, kimono hanging loosely and flamboyantly and Isak had absolutely no idea what to do.

As Even casually moved away from Isak, shaking hands with Eskild, Isak’s mind spun. He wasn’t sure he was ready to come out without preparing for the different possible scenarios a bit more (a lot more), so that he would know what to do if things went to shit. The squeal coming from Eskild as he saw Even far too close to Isak for it to be anything other than, well.

What it was. Two boys together. _Together_ -together.

Isak felt pretty sure he was out to Eskild now. And although he had always known Eskild wasn’t a homophobe his heart was still pounding madly as Eskild wrapped them both in hugs and kind of jumped a bit up and down. Isak couldn’t help but smile a bit at his enthusiasm, but his mind was still scrambling at all the possible answers at all the possible questions that might come from this impromptu head-first scramble out of the closet.

When Eskild was done with the jumping and had gathered the robe back around himself he fastened his steely guru eyes on Isak and simply said “He’s hot. Well done Isak my boy.”

Then he turned to Even, levelling him with the same stare and proclaiming that he would be eternally grateful to Even for taking one for the team by being with the grumpiest seventeen year old the world had ever known.

Isak rolled his eyes. “Really? Eskild? Taking one for the team?”

Before Eskild had a chance to answer, Even smiled his brilliant smile and answered “Oh, it’s my pleasure. Trust me.” And then the fucking wink again.

There was a new squeal from Eskild, before they heard a door open in the hallway followed by the familiar sound of Linn shuffling out into the kitchen. She had her entire duvet draped across her shoulders and back and she looked none too pleased that she was out of bed. When she saw Even she shuffled over and shook his hand. “Hi. I’m Linn. I live with these guys,“  she said as she tightened the duvet back around her.

Even smiled and gave her his name politely.

Then she turned to Eskild. “You need to stop the screaming Eskild, I can’t sleep.”

“Linn ohmygod it’s like, noon,” Eskild answered voice both exasperated and a little bit pitying.

Linn just quietly made her way back to her room, not answering.   

Isak let out a little laugh, incredibly relieved. He didn’t have to explain himself, didn’t have to defend himself. It felt nice. More than nice. He felt lighter, almost giggly.

Walking back into his room he cast a cursory glance at his phone. What if he just sent the boys a text? It would be the easiest way to come out. He knew it was cowardly. But still, it was very tempting. That way he could gage their reactions before school tomorrow. He considered it. But then he imagined Jonas’ reaction to a text and he knew he had to just tell them in person.

Tomorrow at school, he decided. Tomorrow he would lose or keep his friends.

He realized he was crowding the doorway when he felt Even coming up behind him, pushing him lightly to get through. The smell of perfectly cooked Grandiosa wafted around the room and the both plopped down on the bed, pizza between them.

They ate in companiable silence the ten minutes or so it took to finish the pizza, Isak taking a little longer because he kept picking out the tiny squares of paprika on the slices. Even had brought a bottle of olive oil (most likely Eskild’s, Isak had never bought a bottle of olive oil in his life) to sprinkle on top of his slices, something Isak found very strange. Ketchup he could handle, but olive oil? He didn’t say anything though. Just smiled and felt his heart squeeze because he was learning about Even’s cute quirks.

“So, -uhm. I’m going to have to go home. My mom is kind of livid that I’ve been gone this long.” Even said, looking up at Isak apologetically.

“Yeah. Ok.” Isak smiled but he knew it didn’t reach his eyes. He didn’t want this to end. He knew these last couple of days had been the kind of epic romance novel shit that never actually happened and he feared that once Even went out the door of this apartment it would never come back. That it would all be over, like a dream. He knew he was being irrational. But he still felt it.

“I wish I could stay,” Even said quietly when Isak didn’t say anything more “but my parents – they, uhm,” Even’s voice seemed to falter a bit, “-they worry a lot. Because of my bipolar.” 

“I guess you staying out for two days with someone you hardly know kind of calls for worry. Bipolar or no,” Isak said. He tried to ignore the pang in his chest that always came when faced with parenting done right. Most times he was happy about his freedom living alone, but he had always wondered what it was like to have someone actually care.

“So-“  Isak said when Even didn’t answer, “-school tomorrow? Um, I was thinking about telling the guys about you. But I wanted to ask first, if that was okay?”

Even’s face went from overcast to complete sunshine in less than a second. It was almost funny to watch. Isak made a mental note to find more ways to make Even’s face sunshine-y. It was beautiful. His eyes crinkled into tiny slits but they still lit up the room.

“They don’t know you’re –“  small pause, “-like, into guys?” Even asked.

Isak shook his head. “But I kind of need to tell them I think.”

“That's great. And then you could tell them about Elias too.”

“No. They’ll only feel guilty for not having known.”

“Maybe that wouldn’t be wrong though.” Evens voice was tight.

“Hey, I decided not to tell them and I’m not going to. I’m going to make it stop, I just have to come up with a plan.”

“Yeah. Sure.” Even sounded frustrated.

Isak didn’t answer, he could hear that Even didn’t put much faith in Isak’s ability to make Elias stop. But he didn’t want to end the weekend on a bad note so he got up to his knees, pulling Even up to him.

They were so close and Isak could feel the atmosphere shifting as they just stayed there, looking into each other’s eyes. On their knees in Isak’s bed. When Isak brought his lips over to touch Even’s lightly and brought his hand up to lightly caress Even’s jaw, Even sighed and smiled into Isak’s half open mouth with a “..not fair Isak”.

Isak made a mental note that if they ever started arguing he would do this exact thing.

Even left after they made out for half an hour and when the door slammed shut and he heard Even’s steps fading away down the stairs he allowed himself one big smile before he spent the rest of the afternoon obsessing about how to tell the boys about his new crush being a dude.

 

…..

 

Monday morning walking to school was excruciating. He’d had an anxiety attack at around midnight from obsessing over today and he never could sleep well after those. He ran on very little sleep and only half a slice of pizza that had been left on his desk since yesterday. But he had made a decision and today was the day. He was going to tell them.

He really was.

Only when he got to school his phone beeped. He opened the group chat with the boys.

 

 

**Kattehooker’n og vennene hans**

 

Jonas: Not coming to school today. Sick as fuck.

Isak: Ok. Is it contagious? Do I have to brace myself?

Jonas: Wow thanks. No, don’t worry about me I’m doing fine thanks for your concern. Just puking my guts out over here.

Mahdi: Fucking MAGS! You made us all sick! What the fuck man!

Isak: I’m not sick

Jonas: Are you sick too?

Isak: Just said I wasn’t

Jonas: not you Isak

Mahdi: I have no intestines left

Jonas: Fucking MAGNUS! You said it was no problem!

Magnus: Well if it makes you feel any better I’m sick too

Jonas: It doesn’t!

Mahdi: It kinda does.

Isak: So none of you are coming to school

Magnus: Planning my funeral

Isak: You can have an open coffin and have them play smells like teen spirit

Magnus: Dude, insensitive

Jonas: Isak don’t make me laugh my stomach is hurting

Mahdi: So how long was your sister sick Mags?

Magnus: A couple of days I dunno

Mahdi: Fuck me

Isak: what the fuck happened?

Magnus: We were at my place. You were ignoring us. My sister had been sick but I swear to god she was over it. But there might have been dip and we might have shared.

Isak: That’s Darwin award material

Mahdi: Fuck you. It was the holiday dip. It tastes like holiday. And the sour cream was real, not the diet kind. What were we going to do?? Not eat it?

Isak: Yes. Yes, Mahdi. That is exactly right.

Mahdi: Fuck you

Jonas: Sorry for leaving the chat, I was puking. Isak fuck you. And Magnus fuck you too.

Magnus: Hey, are you guys only puking or is there also diarrhea?

Jonas: Both

Mahdi: Both

Magnus: At the same time?

_Isak has left the chat_

..

He had to run like satan himself was chasing him but he managed not to be cornered all day. Except for once, when Elias came up behind him walking down the stairs and pushed him. But he only fell a few steps so it was fine.

The boys didn’t come back to school until Thursday. He was alone and kind of scared all the time but Elias never seemed to get near enough or catch Isak alone. So, there were a few kicks and a couple of shoves but nothing severe. He saw Even several times, but he’d texted him that his friends were sick and not at school and Even knew it meant that they had to stay away from each other so they didn’t start rumors.

So Isak was basically alone until Thursday. And even then he didn’t have a chance to tell the boys, they were far too busy telling him all about how sick they’d been, while he stood at a safe distance from them.

A scarf covering his nose and mouth. Which was a bit of a statement considering it was practically summer.

Thursday evening he was standing outside of the doors leading into the martial arts place, waiting for Even. They hadn’t seen each other since Sunday, both having been busy in the afternoons and evenings. But they had sent each other little texts and random memes throughout the week and Isak’s heart had jumped a little every single time.

“Halla”

Isak spun around quickly. Even was standing so close, breathing into his ear.

“Halla” Isak said, smiling.

They didn’t kiss though they both wanted to, Isak knew. He felt the tension in the air between them. But they just walked inside and got ready for their self-defense class. Like two friends. Which wasn’t _wrong_ exactly _._ Just not entirely right, either.

And, oh fuck, his _friend_ was hot tonight.

Ok, so Even was in a black tank top and  red shorts. Not the long, baseball kind of shorts either. More like the tennis kind of shorts.

And he was wearing the most wicked grin.

Isak couldn’t breathe. All he could think about was how he knew Even’s dick. He knew it intimately. He had sucked and licked it, swallowed his cum, and none of these other people had a clue. He ripped his eyes away from Even’s crotch and stared back up into his eyes. They were looking back at him with blatant hunger.

“Today we’re going to practice getting out of different holds” The booming voice of the instructor sounded and Isak’s reluctantly focused his attention to the man.

“We’re starting with the back choke hold. One of you is to stand on the mat, the other one behind your back, and then putting their arm in a choke hold, like so” he demonstrated gently on a girl standing nearby him. Everybody shuffled to get into position.

Isak stood on the mat, Even standing behind him. Chest against Isak’s back. Isak focused on keeping his breathing even. This was turning him on in a major way.

What the fuck? This shit wasn’t supposed to turn people on.

The instructor continued, “so, first we’re going to practice what you do when you feel the arm closing in around your neck. Because before it closes you need to get your chin down, use it to block the arm from tightening around you throat.”

Everybody practiced the movements for a bit, getting their chins down in time.

“And then-“  The instructor went over to the same girl as before, only now she was standing behind him, playing the role of attacker. “You’re going to grab his arm with both hands. One at the wrist and one by the elbow. And at the same time you’re going to take a step to the side, towards the assailant’s elbow, the one that’s choking you.”

Everybody practiced the movements again. Isak felt the palms of his hands sizzling every time he grabbed Even’s arm. Even wasn’t entirely unaffected either judging by the tiny groan slipping from his mouth. This was getting weird and Isak had trouble focusing.

“And now for the fun part” The instructor chuckled a little. “You’re going to use the hand that used to be on the assailant’s wrist and jam it backwards into his groin.”

Isak could hear a tiny “Oh fuck” behind him. He smiled devilishly and made an exaggerated motion with his arm towards Even’s groin, but stopped just shy of reaching his target. Then, just to mess with Even, he made sure his arm brushed gently against Even’s groin, before pulling back.

He heard Even hitch in a breath before he had to turn his attention back to the instructor who had started speaking again.

“After you hit his groin he is probably going to lean forward, or just plain double over in pain. That’s when you raise your elbow and bring it up to his chin. Use all your strength.”

Isak heard a tiny, impressed huff in his ear. “They don’t fuck around, do they?” Even whispered in his ear. Then his free arm brushed against Isak’s ass a couple of times and Isak was seriously starting to worry that his semi would grow into something very embarassing.

But he shook himself a couple of times, realizing how important it was for him to learn the moves right, and proceeded to fake-beat up Even in the most inventive ways for the next hour.

By the time they were done for the day Isak had learned several ways to get out of a choke hold, how to get someone off when they were pinning him to the ground (the first time he sent Even flying he couldn’t stop laughing for a minute at Evens surprised expression as he laid sprawled on the floor, a second after having Isak pinned down beneath him), and he’d been told to always, always scream for help as loud as he could (yeah, right). The closeness to Even both helped him and distracted him to no end and it was perfect.

Standing outside of the martial arts center after class had ended he was feeling pretty confident and very horny when on an impulse he pulled Even down to his lips for a quick kiss goodbye. He could feel Even smiling into the kiss when he heard an ugly laugh behind him.

“Well, fuck me Even. You don’t waste your time do you.” When Isak and Even turned their heads only Even looked surprised to see that it was Elias standing there, gym bag slung over his shoulder, phone in hand like he’d just been messaging someone. He was scowling at them. Isak had recognized the voice immediately, before turning around to see who it belonged to. His heart rate sped up and he could feel the familiar tensing in his muscles, the kind that made him unable to move.

“You should get over that crush you have on Isak cause he’s taken,” Even drawled, smiling nonchalantly at Elias.

“Fucking fags. You’re disgusting,” Elias muttered before brushing past them and walking down the streets hurriedly.

Isak looked up at Even. “I can’t believe you said that. Fuck, what are we going to do?”

“I say we do nothing,” Even answered, “nothing we can do really, anyway.”

“But what if he tells the boys?”

“Then they will beat him to a pulp for being a dick, he knows that.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Isak was still worried, but he realized there really was very little he could do.

Even looked at Isak, who was starting to get some feeling back into his legs again, bumped into his shoulders and said, “how ‘bout I walk you home, huh? Tomorrow at school you tell the boys and I’ll give you a celebratory coming-out- blow job in the handicap toilet after.”

Isak let out a huff of laughter. “Sure. Just not right after I tell them. Things will be awkward enough without me disappearing into the handicap toilet with you.”

Fishing out his phone from his pocket he was just about to open the group chat to let the boys know he had something to tell them tomorrow at school when the chat started lighting up before he’d even started the sentence. Cold dread slowly spread through his body as he started to read.

 

**Kattehookern og vennene hans**

 

Magnus: WTF????!???? ISAK???!???

Mahdi: Dude what’s up?

Magnus: Check Elias’ insta!!!! What the fuck??? ISAK ARE YOU THERE!!!!

Mahdi: Hold on a minute

Jonas: Is that Isak and that Even guy?

Magnus: Holy fuck Isak oh my god! Why the fuck are you kissing him? HE’S A DUDE!!

Magnus: Wait, are you gay now?

Magnus: ISAK ARE YOU GAY?????????????

Mahdi: Calm the fuck down Mags.

Jonas: Isak hey I don’t know what this is but it’s cool no matter what you know that right?

Mahdi: Yeah. What Jonas said.

Magnus: WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE FREAKING OUT????!???!?!?!?!?

Mahdi: I swear to god Magnus I will turn your phone’s language settings to chinese if you don’t stop it with the exclamation marks.

Magnus: Holy fuck I just realized that if this is true we just turned into the hippest group. One black dude, one gay dude, one sk8er boi

Magnus: what am I then? The comedian?

Isak: the village idiot

Jonas: I don’t even know where to start Magnus. Just stop typing.

Jonas: Oh, hey Isak.

Magnus: ISAK! Fuck, you’re there. Good.

Mahdi: Hey Isak you ok?

Isak: yeah. Will tell you all tomorrow. I know it’s a surprise and all

Magnus: haha, surprise. Yeah. Kind of. Imagine exclamation marks all over this sentence

Magnus: Hey, that Even dude, you know he’s like said to be kinda psycho right?

Isak: He’s not. He has bipolar and fucked some shit up when he was manic that’s why his rep is frayed. He’s kinda great actually

Magnus: Oh, cool. My mom is bipolar too. Not a biggie. So, you’re confirming this liaison? I can’t believe you’re gay man.

Mahdi: Talk tomorrow. Mom is making samosas.

Magnus: I’m coming over Mahdi

Jonas: Can I come too?

Mahdi: sure. Isak?

Isak: Sorry. With Even.

Magnus: Wow this group chat is turning gay

Jonas: STOP TYPING MAGS

Isak: It’s ok. He’s kinda right

Jonas: <3

Mahdi: <3

Magnus: Didn’t mean it in a bad way. But this is seriously the first time anyone ever used hearts on this chat, just sayin

Jonas: Well the situation called for it

Isak: <3

Mahdi: My mom says be here in thirty or no food for you

Magnus: Just left the house. I’m runnign and typo

Jonas: On my way. Remind me to punch Elias in the face next time I see him. What a dick

Magnus: HOW AM I NOT SUPPOSED TO REPLY TO THAT WITH SOMETHING ABOUT ISAK ACTUALLY LIKING DICK

Mahdi: Wow these samosas are perfect

Isak: have fun talking about me for the next two hours

Mahdi: At least. Probably more like four. Don’t bring lunch tomorrow Isak, I’m getting you samosas.

Isak: thanks!!!!!

Magnus: We are totally stalking that Even guy on every conceivable social media platform. I’m on it already

.

Isak heard a ding that wasn’t from his own phone and realized Even had been standing patiently waiting for Isak to finish his chat with the boys. He was pulling his own phone from out from his pocket, looking at it curiously. “I just got a friend request from Magnus on facebook,” he chuckled as he accepted it. “I guess that is related to the constant sounds coming from your phone?”

Isak groaned. “I’m sorry. Short story, I just came out I guess. Elias posted a picture of you and me on insta and the boys saw it and now I’m out.” As he said it he realized that it was true. He was out, and the boys were fine, at least by the looks of it.

“So, do you want that celebratory blow job now or later then, Even winked as if Isak’s life hadn’t completely shifted around on its axis. Isak had a feeling Even knew just how monumental this was, and he could think of no one better to celebrate with. He felt like jumping and screaming and laughing, but all he did was grab Even’s hand, saying “Oh, definitely blow job now," casting a cheeky grin at his beautiful boyfriend.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is all smut. If you're not a fan of smut you can easily skip this chapter. But if you are a fan of smut, celebratory bj's are now a thing.  
> If you read this chapter alone it's pretty much pwp.  
> Also sorry for spelling errors and stuff.   
> I'm thankful for every single kudos and comment. 
> 
>  
> 
> .

Back at the apartment, Isak was out of breath from running all the way home when Even’s chest crashed into him, pushing him down onto the bed. During the run over to the apartment Isak had been starting to freak out about the photo and what he would be facing at school the next day.

But then he had turned his head to look at Even, who looked so incredible and so happy running beside him that de decided he didn’t want anything to ruin what could be another perfect moment with Even. So he let all of his worries go, knowing they would still be there tomorrow for him to obsess about.

Even was out of breath too and smiling into the hard kiss he was placing on Isak’s lips. Isak could feel the nervous energy he always felt when he was pinned underneath Even like this.

Having the weight on top of him felt so good, and he squirmed a little bit just to see how much give there was. He raised his hands to Even’s sides but Even stopped his movements by pinning his wrists to the mattress, and not too gently either, taking control of both the kiss and Isak’s movements.

Isak relished in it.

It was so much easier keeping his focus when he didn’t have to wonder about where to place his hands, or whether or not he was making Even feel good, or if perhaps he should be doing something else entirely.

He, of course, liked exploring Even, loved finding out about what made him moan and writhe and gasp Isak’s name. He loved it.

He just really loved this, too. When Even took control the way he clearly got off on. If his expression of pure lust and possessiveness was anything to go by.

Letting Isak just _feel_.

 Isak fleetingly wondered if it was a sign of weakness. That he wanted this. That he wanted Even to take charge when they were in bed. He had worried about it before. But truth be told, he didn’t feel weak. He felt hot.

All thoughts of what he should and shouldn’t feel quickly dissipated as Even was tugging open Isak’s jeans, all the while using his nose to gently tickle the soft hairs on Isak’s belly that were visible underneath his scrunched up t-shirt. Placing open-mouthed kisses in a circle around his belly button. And then the jeans were open and being pulled down along with his boxers.

“Clothes off” Even almost growled as he rid Isak of his pants. Isak was kind of hazy at this point. Knowing he was getting his dick sucked in probably less than five minutes left very little room for anything else and he stilled a bit, wondering what Even actually wanted him to do.

Even looked back at him, promises brimming in his blye, piercing eyes. “I want you naked underneath me.”

Oh. Naked. Right.

Isak realized he was still wearing his hoodie and a t-shirt. That must be what Even meant. He scrambled a bit but got the offending clothing and then he was naked.

Completely naked.

And Even was still wearing clothes, even his jacket. It looked hot, all that denim against his own naked skin. Isak shouldn’t have been so turned on by this, but he was. He felt so cared for and

 -oh holy mother of _fuck-_ Even was licking his long broad tongue up along Isak’s shaft and Isak completely forgot about everything but he boy currently nestled in between his thighs.

 All he could feel was Even on top of him, fully clothed, and licking his dick. His tongue was swirling around the length, before he put his lips around the head and let his mouth engulf the tip of the straining erection. It was glorious.

Heavenly.

Isak was panting, sounding like a damn freight train after just a few seconds. He looked down at Even, their eyes meeting. He watched as those glorious lips tightened around his cock and he was pretty sure he could come from this alone. Just the sight of Even going down on him would be enough.

As Even watched him, he started licking again. Downwards towards Isak’s balls. Then back up again. “Put your legs up,” he said gruffly, moving a bit to make room for Isak’s legs to move, and Isak complied shakily, putting his knees over Even’s shoulders. He felt exposed. And hot. Even could look straight at his entrance if he angled his head just right.

 It made Isak think back to that first night, when Even’s finger pressed and prodded against it. How good I felt. And he wondered if Even might be planning to do it again.

He didn’t have to wait long for the answer to that. Even’s long finger was suddenly right at Isak’s entrance, making Isak give a little hiss. The finger was just touching him gently, not pushing inside. It felt so good, it made Isak want to give Even everything. It made him want to know the feel of Even’s long fingers inside of him, stretching him out and pumping into him.

Isak was squirming, panting, wanting Even’s finger to move, and he was beginning to realize that the lack of  lube was going to be a problem. Even was still licking at Isak’s dick, but he clearly had the same idea because he raised his head, Isak’s dick popping out of his mouth, before saying “You don’t happen to have any lube?” Even’s lips were red and swollen and he looked _so good_ , debauched and decadent peeking up from between Isak’s legs. He couldn’t help but drag Even up towards him for an open mouthed and fiery kiss. He could taste himself on Even’s tongue and it made Isak’s insides twist with pleasure.

“Do you?” Even promted. Isak’s mind backtracked dazedly until he realized Even was asking for lube. He tensed up a bit as he thought about it. His mind trying to come up with any kind of solution as he shook his head a little. “I don’t,” he said.

Even cocked an eyebrow at Isak’s obvious discomfort and said “Eskild?”

“Not home. And if he was I still wouldn’t have asked,” Isak muttered dejectedly.

Even seemed to mull it over a bit while he hovered over Isak. Then he jerked a bit, head snapping up as if he’d just thought of something. His head turned to the side, eyes landing on Isak’s desk, and then he broke out in a grin. Isak’s eyes followed Even’s until the landed on Eskild’s bottle of olive oil that Isak still hadn’t cleared up from Sunday.

“Get your phone out,” Even said as he hopped off the bed and went to the desk.

“Why?”

“Google olive oil as anal lube,” Even said and Isak wanted to die from embarrassment. It was one thing to have Even’s fingers pressing at his entrance while in the throes of passion so to speak. It was something entirely different talking about anal lube and googling olive oil and getting all technical and graphic about it. But he dutifully found his prone and typed in the search.

And he clearly wasn’t the first to do so. There were long articles about what to use (and what definitely not to use) as lube. After a couple of minutes he was pretty sure olive oil would be ok.

“It says you can use it but it’s not ideal. And it shouldn’t be used with any kind of latex, so…” his voice trailed off, not knowing what else to say.

Even seemed quite content with Isak’s answer because he just hummed and smiled and got the bottle, pouring a tiny amount of it into a coke bottle cap that he found on the floor. Isak had never been happier about his slobby ways in his life. And then it hit him. Even was going to use that lube to finger him open. Imagining Even’s fingers all oily and slick, moving into him made Isak’s cock, which had been severely flagging while he was googling, suddenly became rock hard and rigid again at the prospect.  

Even started crawling back to Isak, looking very intent and Isak’s insides did a funny little twist at the almost feral expression on his face. Laying back and propping his legs back up onto Even’s shoulders, Isak just stayed still, anticipation humming through his veins and making him take only shallow little breaths. Even stood on his knees, bottle cap in his hand. Not taking his eyes off Isak as he drizzled the tiniest amount onto Isak’s balls, making gravity take the droplets down towards his entrance. He put the bottle cap on the nightstand and then his fingers were smearing the oil across Isak’s ass, over his hole and pushing the tip of his index finger the tiniest bit inside. Even looked up at Isak tentatively, eyes questioning. Isak smiled reassuringly but then gasped at the sensation as the finger inside him twisted a little, making him feel even more open as he concentrated on relaxing his muscles and let Even inside.

Isak was so hard, his cock was already leaking and he was so aroused he could barely form a coherent sentence but he managed to croke out a strangled “more.”

The finger inside of him started thrusting deeper, twisting a little. The feel of it was strange and not entirely pleasant and still Isak craved it like nothing else. Soon another finger was added, pushing in a little deeper. By now it was actually starting to feel good.

Very good.

He was still looking at Even. The boy was entirely focused on Isak’s face, gaging his reactions to everything he was doing. And then he said quicly, looking up at Isak, “Hey, I’m going to try something. I read about it, but if it’s uncomfortable or whatever let me know and I’ll stop.”

Isak didn’t have time to answer before he felt Even’s fingers reach in a bit further and then curl upwards. Isak’s body went rigid with pleasure as Even hit his prostate, gently and carefully prodding it with every thrust with his fingers.

The pleasure was almost too much for Isak. He was panting and rambling, “please Even” “oh fuck yes right there”, completely caught up in the heat and feel of it, wanting to come and never wanting the pleasure to end at the same time.

 He realized he was no longer watching Even, having thrown his head back at the first contact with his prostate and while he wanted nothing more than to see the look on Even’s face he knew his vision was too blurry for him to see anything anyway. So he kept his eyes squeezed shut, allowing himself to get lost in the sensations. He felt the pressure building, cock leaking and so hard against his stomach.

“You are so fucking beautiful like this, knew you would be,” Even murmured as he gently grabbed the base of Isak’s cock while still fucking his ass with those long fingers and then Isak felt the wet heat of those perfect, full lips engulf the head of his cock, hot tongue swirling around and Isak lost all coherent thought as his head started swimming, heart racing frantically and he came like a volcano inside Even’s mouth. He didn’t even have time to warn Even about it, just spurted hotly for what seemed like forever. Even kept his mouth still around him, riding out the orgasm until Isak was a limp puddle of mush, not even capable of moving a single muscle.

He lay there for a long time, coming down from his mind blowing orgasm.

“You’ve googled the prostate?” Isak chuckled when he’d gotten his breath back and felt like his body was maybe starting to function again.

“I googled gay sex. It was highly informative,” Even answered, still nestled between Isak’s legs. He was looking up at Isak with a smug expression on his face.

“Thank God for internet,” Isak giggled before dragging Even up to lay against his side. “Get your clothes off, I want to give you a celebratory blow job for finding that spot,” Isak said. Even laughed loudly and soon they were both naked and sweating again.

Isak managed to find Even’s spot after Even explained to him how. And in this tiny little room in this tiny little corner of the world, there was a boy named Isak. And he was happy.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I made it short but sickeningly sweet. I'm serious. You're going to be more nauseous than a Norwegian kid after seven ice creams on may 17th.
> 
>  
> 
> .

As Isak was walking into school on Monday he felt like some sort of circus animal. He knew his expression was guarded, with his hoodie up, shoulders hunched and ready to take any blow coming his way. As he went through the gate to the schoolyard he felt a hush settle as everyone there seemed to notice his presence right at the same time.

All of their faces turned towards him, their expressions just as guarded as his own, like they were equally unsure of how to handle this. It lasted only a few seconds probably, but it felt like forever to Isak’s pounding heart and sweaty palms, before, all at the same time, they started whispering and gesticulating in a way they probably thought was inconspicuous but really REALLY wasn’t.

At least no one said anything, or, like spit at the ground when they saw him (this had been only one of the many horrible scenarios Isak had pictured that morning as he sat in the kitchen not even remotely trying to eat breakfast).

Isak had realized early on that everyone had seen the photo, even though it had been taken down only a few hours after it was posted. Isak had seen it too, of course, Mags had sent it to him. It was actually a really good photo.  It had been taken through a glass window so it wasn’t as sharp as it could have been, but both Isak and Even had looked very in love. It was the kind of photo you could frame and put on your night stand.

And it was strange, bacause Isak wasn’t even mad at Elias for what he’d done.

 Well, he wasn’t too mad.

Okay he was mad.

Still, he was feeling more resigned than anything. So he had been outed, on Instagram none the less, and that was really shitty. But he lived. He would live.

Maybe even properly, from now on.

So he steeled himself from the looks everyone gave him, their eyes darting back and forth between Isak and whatever group of people they were standing with, and he walked right past them and into the schoolyard.

His boys were all there, waiting for him at the entrance to the main building. Jonas was wearing a green snapback that his curls were doing their best to hide. His hands were in his pockets but they looked fisted. As if he was trying to convey a nonchalance he didn’t feel. Isak didn’t blame him.

Mahdi kept fiddling with the shoulder strap on his bag, clearly it was extremely important to get the length just exactly right.

Isak didn’t blame him either.

Magnus was the only one who didn’t look the least bit affected by the tense situation around them. He just gave Isak an upward nod that made his hair bounce around a bit before it settled back down to almost cover his eyes. Isak wasn’t sure Mags was oblivious to the situation or if he just didn’t give a fuck.

 Isak’s step almost faltered as he came up to stand next to Mahdi. This was exactly what he hadn’t wanted.

The fucking awkwardness.

They shouldn’t have to force themselves to look at him.

“Hey,” Jonas said, giving Isak one of his trademark small nods.

“Hey.” Said Isak, not really knowing what else to say. They had all met yesterday and talked. And he knew they were actually pretty chill about the whole gay thing but still, this was his first day being out at school. And they all probably felt a little on edge about how all the other students would react. Maybe that was it. Maybe they just needed to get through the first couple of hours and things would go back to normal.

 

“HEY, FAG! WHERE’S YOUR BOYFRIEND? OR IS HE DONE WITH YOU ALREADY?” Isak went cold as the words rang out over the schoolyard. The chances of him not being the target were less than zero, Isak wasn’t stupid. Also, he knew that voice. And he was almost glad it was that voice. Because that meant that he didn’t have to double his number of nemesises.

 It was still just Elias.  

As he slowly turned around he saw the boy standing over by the statue. He was standing alone, face contorted into a snarl that was probably supposed to look like a sly smile but looked more like the expression of someone about to snap.

Isak could feel the familiar tightening in his chest, could feel his breath going shallow.

This was not fucking happening, not today, _please_ not today.

The entire school was watching and he was going to have a fucking panic attack in front of everyone. He couldn’t let that happen. He knew he would never forgive himself.

He was not gong to lay down and take it like he always did. Not this time.

_Not today._

He squared his shoulders and lifted his chin. It was difficult to do though the pounding in his chest. He felt like he was fighting his own body so it wouldn’t curl in on itself, forcing his muscles to obey him.

Out of the corner of his eye he could see Jonas preparing to take on Elias, murder in his eyes. And he was grateful that his friend was going to stand up for him. But at the same time Isak knew that Jonas taking over this situation would lead to nothing. He had to somehow stop Elias himself. Or Elias would never let this go. He might stop yelling in the schoolyard, but he would find a million other, more subtle ways to make Isak’s life miserable.

So Isak gave the boys a warning look before turning towards Elias and starting to move.

He was just going to fucking do it.

His heart was pounding like crazy and his legs felt like jelly but he knew he had to move and thankfully, for now, he managed to. He went slowly over to Elias whose expression went from confused to apprehensive to furious before Isak reached where he stood. The schoolyard was completely silent, everyone waiting to see what would happen next.

“Elias, you’re making a complete ass of yourself,” Isak said and wished his voice didn’t waver but it did, of course. Making him sound weak, which was the complete opposite of what he needed to be in order to stop this.

Elias snarled “Why the fuck are you talking to me, fag? Don’t you dare talk to me,” he said and when Isak looked him in the eyes Elias finally snapped like Isak had been afraid of, and he lunged forward, shoving Isak backwards with two hands on his chest until he stumbled and went down.

He fell on his back, Elias on top of him. Isak heard shouting from the other end of the schoolyard as he felt Elias’ hands grip around his wrists, pulling them up over his head, scraping against the tiny little stones littering the asphalt. Elias was sitting on top of him now, getting ready to punch. His expression was one Isak had seen too many before. It was wild and crazy looking, and it reminded him of all the times Elias had cornered him, kicked him, punched him. And Isak felt his body preparing to go to freeze mode like it always did.

But then it didn’t.

It just didn’t.

He didn’t get that all-consuming feeling of powerlessness that used to overwhelm him.

Because he knew what to do.

Knew exactly what motions would work in this exact situation. He felt Elias’ weight on him, felt Elias’ hands around his wrists, at even though Elias had never done this before, at least not to Isak,  Isak himself _had_ been in this position before. Only it had been in a gym, surrounded by other people in the same position, with Even on top of him and smiling down at him.

Isak knew what to do.

And everything went so fast, because Isak didn’t have to think about it. He pushed his hips upwards, tipping Elias’ balance because at the same time he was dragging his arms down to his sides, sending Elias flying over his head. He didn’t waste any time as he got up, going over to Elias who was lying face down on the ground, clearly too shocked to move. He took Elias’ arms, bringing them together at Elias’ back, and pressing down.

Hard.

Elias was face down in the middle of the schoolyard and he couldn’t move. Isak tried not to feel insanely triumphant but failed miserably as he leaned down and whispered loudly into Elias’ ear, “You are going to lay off me. I don’t care why you do this or whatever the fuck is wrong with you but if I get so much as a nasty look from you ever again I’m fucking telling your mom about you dealing weed. I’m not fucking joking Elias.”

Isak smiled viciously, feeling very pleased with himself. Because it was sort of a glorious threat. It was a spur of the moment idea and as he’d said it he had known it would work. Elias’ mom was terrifying. And if it didn’t, well, at least now he knew he could protect himself.

 Isak heard a yelp from Elias and realized he’d added even more pressure to his arms. He still waited. And waited. Until Elias nodded awkwardly against the asphalt and Isak let him go. Elias groaned, clearly in pain and moving his arms very very slowly to his sides.

The schoolyard was dead silent. Isak saw his friends who had clearly been on their way to run over but had stopped mid-way. They were still standing sort of mid-stride, slack-jawed and wide-eyed.

 Isak’s head slowly turned around the schoolyard, seeing the same kinds of shocked faces everywhere.

And then there was - what the fuck - a clapping sound? Isak looked over at Magnus who stood with the widest grin on his face, clapping his hands. And then Jonas and Mahdi joined him, slowly breaking into equally wide grins. Isak just looked at them, wondering what the hell had gotten into them as Elias was getting up and slinking away, trying to look to all the world as if he hadn’t just gotten his ass beaten.

And then more people joined the clapping and this was getting surreal. Isak looked around at dozens of smiling faces and clapping hands and he was pretty sure someone even whistled.

Great. His life had become a fucking teenage drama.

But it was okay. He knew this was people’s way of showing their support without actually having to talk to him about it, and it was okay. It was actually kind of nice. For the longest time he had felt so alone, so detached from everyone and everything. And this?

This was nice.

 And then there was Even. Standing over by the door to the cafeteria, not too far from Isak.

Even just stood there, looking down at his shoes, then back up at Isak, then swiftly moving his gaze to look at something behind Isak, and then back at Isak again.

He was adorable.

And not anything like when Isak had first met him, when he’d seemed so confident and secure in his own body. Now he looked like he didn’t know what to do with himself.

And Isak knew he would never live down the cheesiness of this moment, but he went over there, put his hands on Evens cheeks and proceeded to kiss him senseless, with what felt like the entire school cheering them on. Even didn’t take long to wrap his arms around Isak’s waist, tightening and lifting him just a little bit before putting him back down, breaking the kiss and looking at Isak with something like wonder in his eyes.

And then the school bell rang, and everyone stopped clapping all at once, scrambling to get to class and Isak no longer felt like he was inn a low budget rom-com. He grabbed Even’s hand and turned to go over to the boys, planning on introducing them to Even. But when he turned around, the boys were already standing just a couple of feet away, clearly having regained control of their legs.

And fuck it all to hell.

Magnus was standing there with the goofiest grin ever, waving a tiny little rainbow flag.

Isak and Even both burst into laughter at the same time, Mags looking very confused at their reaction. Jonas just shook his head, muttering “Dude, I told you not to bring the god damned flag.”

And Isak knew he would get frustrated, and sad, and irritated and angry at the world many many times, but he would have his silly, wise and very dorky friends to make him laugh when he needed to, and he would have Even. And it was a million times better than he’d ever imagined his life could be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I hope you liked it. The reason I'm finishing this one maybe a little abruptly is because I'm working on a new fic, very au, very trope-y (as if this one wasn't haha) and I knew that if I didn't finish this one now I probably never would. Because I'm having too much fun working on this new one. I decided that I would try actually plotting before I start writing this time, so we'll see how that goes (requests are very welcome, like scenes and other stuff you want to see. I'm on tumblr but i have no clue what I'm doing there or how it works yet but I'm there and I can read so I guess you can somehow message me or something).
> 
> Writing this fic has been a really great learning experience for me, even if it does make me cringe just a little bit. I hope you had fun reading it, and I hope you will read the craziness I come up with next. Small hint: Mags is a limo driver and Even can do stuff with lemons.
> 
> Thank you all so much for staying with me through my first ever writing escapade! I am so incredibly grateful for every single kudos and comment it's pathetic.


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